tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33752164.post116035053837209324..comments2023-07-12T06:26:17.735-02:00Comments on Motherhood Deleted: Space Deleted, Film at 11Robinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07580241881953821182noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33752164.post-1160469212940168792006-10-10T06:33:00.000-02:002006-10-10T06:33:00.000-02:00Butterflybyz,Thanks for the link. It makes for som...Butterflybyz,<BR/><BR/>Thanks for the link. It makes for some interesting reading. AND it's good to "see" you again.Robinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07580241881953821182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33752164.post-1160435001811551702006-10-09T21:03:00.000-02:002006-10-09T21:03:00.000-02:00Bob, you have listed some of the very real and pow...Bob, you have listed some of the very real and powerful reasons why mothers and children should not be separated.<BR/>Adopters do fear the power of the bond and the heritage and DNA connection.That is why they try to deny it.<BR/>Adopted people feel the loss of that bond and familial connection.<BR/><BR/>Mothers suffer greatly from the loss of their children and their role as their childrens mothers.<BR/>Adoption is indeed something to be feared..for those whose losses are created by adoption.<BR/>The only way to honor our birth, life and heritage connections is to maintain the families in the first place.Open adoption, even if it stays open, is not a substitute for the real day to day natural family life.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33752164.post-1160428895116292692006-10-09T19:21:00.000-02:002006-10-09T19:21:00.000-02:00hey robin!!! thought you might be interested in th...hey robin!!! <BR/><BR/>thought you might be interested in this <BR/>small blurb on "homes for unwed mothers" and mentions adoption in the 50's and 60's <BR/><BR/>http://www.pbs.org/opb/historydetectives/investigations/311_unwed.htmlAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33752164.post-1160417510217460122006-10-09T16:11:00.000-02:002006-10-09T16:11:00.000-02:00Wow, Bob. You really had me up until the very last...Wow, Bob. You really had me up until the very last part. Suffice it to say that I applaud and agree with 99% of what you are saying here. However, I still submit that adoption is not going to work, no matter WHAT we do or how much we give service to the idea of the primal bond. <BR/><BR/>As long as there is adoption, there will be fear...fear on the part of the adopters that they will be confronted by the reality of the truth of their contrived parenthood...fear that the adult they raised from infancy will want to pursue a more natural relationship with their true kin and fear of rejection on both the parts of the mother and her adult child. Secrecy will survive as long as we kowtow to the government mandates re., adoption and as long as the agencies have the legilatures and other politicos in their hip pockets. There is always going to be some eugenically-minded, self-important social engineer who wants to be named "keeper of the keys."<BR/><BR/>Adoption does a whole lot more damage than just to interrupt a vital and natural process. It also impresses upon the adopted child the need to feel "grateful," to deny all of their original heritage in favor of the family name and heritage of the adopters, and to "fit in" among those who are not of their true kin. <BR/><BR/>Not only should no state or agency deny the right of Mother and child to know one another, ie; via closed records, intermediaries, etc. There should also be no separation of this sort in the first place.Robinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07580241881953821182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33752164.post-1160416730641276542006-10-09T15:58:00.000-02:002006-10-09T15:58:00.000-02:00The Devaluation of MotherhoodThe purpose of mother...The Devaluation of Motherhood<BR/><BR/>The purpose of motherhood is to teach hope, trust, and love to her child. This relationship between infant and mother is the core of the process that humanizes us. We know that when this relationship is damaged or disrupted, fundamental emotional problems will be created for both mother and child. In adoption, we fail to recognize this primal nature and purpose of motherhood as evidenced by the name we give it. Adoption is not the beginning of the process it’s the second chapter. Before there is an adoption there is a separation. In order to create a new family an existing one is divided. The term adoption denies the existence of the mother child bond and assumes that mothers are simply interchangeable. The primal relationship between first mother and child cannot be duplicated by a new mother. Adoption creates a facsimile. Who among us would consider that the loss of a loved one can be resolved by the introduction of a new loved one? If a spouse dies, can one remarry and wipe away the grief? Can the pain of grief be ended by replacing that loss with another person? Adoption as it is practiced today, makes the assumption that mothers are simply interchangeable and there is nothing unique about her relationship with her child. Any mother will do and the child won’t know or care. Experience teaches us that this is not the truth. <BR/>There is no relationship in all of nature that approaches the primal intimacy of a mother and her child. When a child is born it has no sense of self. It shares its reality with the mother. In the beginning, there is virtually a single mother child being, emotionally and spiritually bound. Adoption separates them before they can naturally grow apart creating in them both the pain of grief and the desire to find one another later in life. By what moral sensitivity does the state or any institution stand between a mother and her child, in adulthood, keeping the knowledge of their names a state secret? What gives anyone the right to say two adults so intimately, bound cannot know one another again? That right belongs only to them. If we are truly interchangeable then our uniqueness means nothing. We may as well all have the same name or no name at all. Adoption can work if we respect the relationship of the mother and her child who make it possible. <BR/>Adoption can only work as long as we respect, and not fear the primal bond between mother and child. Only then can an adopted child accept love, only then can a mother express her love. There is no place for fear and secrecy in the adoption process.<BR/><BR/>Robert Allan Hafetz<BR/>Roberthafetz@comcast.net www.neaspa.com/id14.htm <BR/>1014 Surrey Lane<BR/>Warrington PA 18976<BR/>215-343-3319Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com