tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33752164.post6622082288985739127..comments2023-07-12T06:26:17.735-02:00Comments on Motherhood Deleted: The Mice Are SqueakingRobinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07580241881953821182noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33752164.post-48203011142162218712008-06-08T09:04:00.000-02:002008-06-08T09:04:00.000-02:00Janice, I wish that adoption was not the only opti...Janice, I wish that adoption was not the only option in order for you to care for this child. Legal guardianship would be a much more honest and caring way to incorporate a special needs child into a home. However, please know that you will not feel the same for this child as you do for your natural son. Being older, this child will know that he/she is different and has memories and baggage. Also, if you are fostering to adopt through the CPS, please know that they don't always do the most they can do to keep a child in their family of origin. They get federal bucks for placing children so what they see as "no other option" can often be exaggerated or contrived. Please leave a place in this child's life for natural family members. Thanks.Robinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07580241881953821182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33752164.post-35776530692608802912008-06-08T01:23:00.000-02:002008-06-08T01:23:00.000-02:00Thanks....just wondering. We are adopting a child...Thanks....just wondering. We are adopting a child through foster care that is older and has no other options. They will know every thing about their family that we know, as it is appropriate for them developmentally. We are a mom and dad to a wonderful son. But, we are opening our home and our hearts to a child who has no one to love and protect them and help them grow into a healthy adult. <BR/><BR/>I wish you and your family the best!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33752164.post-83483351473153604412008-06-06T09:19:00.000-02:002008-06-06T09:19:00.000-02:00Fair question, Janice, so I will try to answer. Th...Fair question, Janice, so I will try to answer. The various state CPS agencies are not very good at contacting and arranging for kinship guardians for the kids they put into foster care, often for no good reason other than poverty or a dirty kitchen. They can look around and see no Sponge Bob toys and scream "abuse" and confiscate the children when it is totally unnecessary. Texas just showed their true colors. They were already culling out the infants and toddlers when the courts ordered them to return all the children.<BR/><BR/>The states get funding from the national government for "placing" children. Their mandate is to get as many kids adopted as they can, whether they need it or not.<BR/><BR/>If a mother is totally unable to care for her child, then all efforts should be made to find a guardian within that child's family of origin. Failing that and realizing that the foster system in this country leaves a lot to be desired, then people who truly have the welfare of these children as their first and only, UNSELFISH priority, should apply for legal guardianship in order to provide, not a false parent/child relationship, but a stable environment. <BR/><BR/>Most people who adopt don't want these older children, anyway, because they come with baggage, loyalties and memories. Oh, they'll snap up the infants and toddlers because, with them, they can play the "as if" game. But the older children are the ones who need the stability. <BR/><BR/>With legal guardianship, the motivation is truly altruistic and there is no need on the part of the child to pretend to be someone they are not or to pretend that their beloved caretakers and nurturers are really "Mom and Dad." I have quite a few adult adoptees who can tell you the truth about that one. <BR/><BR/>I have a friend, my age, whose mother died and whose father deserted her. She had only one living relative who immediately took her in. To the day this generous woman died, my friend loved her AUNT Connie with all her heart and both of them visited her mother's grave on a regular basis. Relatives taking in a child used to be the norm and many well-adjusted adults came from those situations.<BR/><BR/>In any event, a child's identity and heritage should never be taken from them just so someone can pretend to be a parent. Sorry, but I think only God and Nature produce parents. The entire system needs to be revamped and money, federal funding, the self-serving needs of adults who "just waaaant a baybeeeee" need to be booted off the priority list. <BR/><BR/>Now, if we are through with the stereotypical "abusive" single mom, crackwhores and orphans with no kin at all, maybe we can start caring for children, first, and stop placing mothers in Catch-22 situations where they think their only recourse is to surrender. Unfortunately, there is also a move towards a eugenically-created society, ala, "The Handmaid's Tale." <BR/><BR/>BTW, if you are really wanting to understand, read that book. It's by Margaret Atwood, and read Ann Fessler's "The Girls Who Went Away." I suggest Fessler's book because it will explain how I feel. Just know that it is no better in this time frame...just different tactics.<BR/><BR/>Please note that, if an attempt is made to extend this into an argument/debate, I will just delete. I only answer fair questions, respectfully submitted as was yours.<BR/><BR/>Cheers,Robinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07580241881953821182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33752164.post-92056442134813668102008-06-06T01:25:00.000-02:002008-06-06T01:25:00.000-02:00Just curious, how do you feel about children that ...Just curious, how do you feel about children that are wards of the state, with no family of their own being adopted?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33752164.post-73975833913003051862008-06-05T15:26:00.000-02:002008-06-05T15:26:00.000-02:00Awwwwwwww Robin. Did you piss of the nasty adopter...Awwwwwwww Robin. Did you piss of the nasty adopters too. Took them long enough to find itAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com