tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33752164.post1158300658860966679..comments2023-07-12T06:26:17.735-02:00Comments on Motherhood Deleted: A Confusing DualityRobinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07580241881953821182noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33752164.post-71922486471601861942010-12-04T12:38:46.299-02:002010-12-04T12:38:46.299-02:00After I lost my son, I instinctively avoided the v...After I lost my son, I instinctively avoided the very thought of adoption. On a conscious level I tried to be understanding, but my mind recoiled from it and I eased myself away from those couples. I just couldn't like them anymore, and never really understood why.<br /><br />I think that when a mother who has lost a child to adoption then goes on to adopt, her adopter self overrides her mother self. It then becomes ALL about justifying her adoption. I think that, in this situation, the adopter trumps mother in almost every case I have seen, and the most current one is no exception.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17088288948654864117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33752164.post-14160633340271614222010-12-03T15:43:14.744-02:002010-12-03T15:43:14.744-02:00I absolutely can not understand adopting a child a...I absolutely can not understand adopting a child after losing my daughter to adoption. <br /><br />The other thing that bothers me is the natural mothers that help PAP find babies to adopt. They had gone through and surrendered their child and now they are promoting adoption. I have seen this aspect of it over and over again. <br /><br />These are the same women that sit on adoption boards promoting adoption. It absolutely discusts me. <br /><br />JeannetteJeannettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10031950274392571035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33752164.post-39947900026479860122010-12-03T14:01:01.178-02:002010-12-03T14:01:01.178-02:00My adoptive father was also a father who lost his ...My adoptive father was also a father who lost his firstborn to adoption. While my amom never knew about his first child I find it very difficult to understand how he could have gone through the adoption process himself. Even worse, for me, is the fact that when I became pregnant at 16 he was very forceful about my son being surrendered. <br /><br />I think that he looked at adoption as, like you said, a way to redeem himself for not "keeping" his first daughter. I also think that him coercing me into surrendering my son was a way to make sure I didn't succeed where he had failed. <br /><br />It's maddening for sure. <br /><br />AndrayaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33752164.post-41976886965289264182010-12-03T13:45:36.898-02:002010-12-03T13:45:36.898-02:00Robin,
Although there aren't many that I know...Robin,<br /><br />Although there aren't many that I know who have<br />lost a baby to adoption then adopt another one I find<br />so confusing. The one I did have a chance to ask could<br />not offer a good explanation. Although in reunion she<br />seems more committed to the person she adopted than<br />her own blood another confusing factor. I do beleve she<br />likes her adopter hat much more than mother.<br />GaleAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com