Wow! Sorry to tell everyone this, but Orwell was right. We think we are in charge of our own lives and our own families, but that is a total delusion. Maybe Orwell's vision of "Big Brother" was a bit more "film noir" than real, but the basics are all in place. Big Brother isn't just coming....he is here, now!
Take, for example, the Goliath of the lobby, The Child Welfare "group." Somehow, I suppose through the liberal application of favors and $$$$, this group has been influencing the legislation that allows the government and the "Child Welfare" people to decide who gets to be a parent. Hell, these misguided folks practically ARE the government.
Not only did we natural moms have our children removed from us because we committed the ultimate sin of being single, sexual and less affluent, but the less affluent natural families of married parents are, now, also in jeopardy. A messy living room and not enough veggies in the fridge or patches on your kids' jeans can get you an appointment with a SW and your children a one-way ticket into foster care and adoption. Heaven forbid if you have real problems because, rather than working on fixing the family problem, they slap a band-aid on by taking the children.
What is wrong with this picture? It seems that natural parents are seen as lacking something that potential adopters seem to have, according to this misbegotten system. The tales of abusive adopters and fosterers seem to get swept under the rug, while the dumpster babies and drug-addict moms are the focus of attention by the media and those who stand to gain by the capture of adoptable infants and toddlers. The older children can often return to their families after a long battle, but, for some odd reason, the little ones stay gone. Could it be that it's because these are the desirable, adoptable kiddies that make the potential adopters', adoption social workers' and agencies' collective mouths water? Could it be.......(church lady, here).....this particular SATAN???..the Devil-Dog Eugenicist???
The Child Welfare system and their lobby seem to be made up of attorneys, agencies, social workers (who should know better), "right-to-lifers" and any and all eugenically-minded persons with their Utopian schemes (the Christian Far-Right comes to mind). Their agenda is cloaked in the deceptive, pink, satin blanket of "what is best for the children," but too many of these children and their true parents, sadly, know better.
In the majority of cases, the separation is painful, permanent and a true tragedy..the worst thing for the family involved, be it a single parent or married parents. What is really best for families is for all these agencies to work to keep them together. They need to discard the system-commissioned, biased "studies" that say a single or poor parent is bound to do something heinous, stop teaching coercion methods, quit playing God and get to the real task at hand which is saving the Heritage Family from oblivion.
Let me ask anyone who is reading this who has not lost a child or a parent to the machine....How would you like it if there were someone at your door, demanding your child be turned over to them for facetiously-worded reasons? How would you like to be deemed "unfit" for not having a McMansion, Lexus and the handy tuition for private schooling? How would you like to be labeled a future abuser just because you are single? Is this an unfair assessment? Damn Skippy, it is!
And for all of you who haven't been smacked by adoption, if this institution is so darn, sloppy-kiss wonderful, then why aren't you donating one of your offspring to the industry? Somewhere, there is probably an infertile couple who is much more fit to raise your child than you are...doncha think?
We still have votes, we still can have a voice and it is past time for this voice to be raised. There are a precious few, doing this job for the many who have been injured by Big Adoption and the misnamed Child Welfare system. We can, at least, let our umbrage be known by writing to newspapers, legislators and anyone who needs to hear the message. It only takes a few minutes to write one letter a day or a week. Even that will fill the email inboxes and snail-mail boxes and someone will take note. That wheel needs to really squeak out loud to be heard. We have to stop letting the Bottom Line ($$$) grease that wheel and allowing adoption social mythology to be the only voice that is heard.
I would like to add that I received a lot of my information on this subject from a dear friend who is in the thick of things, trying to do her bit for natural families. This isn't conjecture...this is well-observed fact.