Tuesday, June 02, 2009

When Can It Be About Us?

Ontario has much of which they can be proud, today. With much wrangling and a grudging acceptance of those dumb, disclosure vetoes, adoption records are open for both mother and adoptees. I want to believe that this means there is hope for us, in the US, for equitable access to records for those of us who lost the most during the EMS.

Even though I am reunited with both my adult, surrendered children, I would still like to have a copy of all my records, signed surrender agreements and the amended birth certificate. Fair is fair. With the adoption industry as part of the sacred, American bottom line, we lag far behind other nations in this important arena. If it makes money and is in that good, old spirit of free enterprise and capitalism, then it is one of those things that have to be dismantled, brick by brick, like the Berlin wall, and done with stringent opposition.

For the members of SMAAC, open records is not about reunion, although anyone saying that reunion is not an issue is in denial, nor is it just about adopted adults. It is about a national injustice visited on vulnerable, young women and their innocent babies. The industry and the government, social workers and "the experts" began by throwing our (the mothers) civil and human rights in the crapper and are now doing it to the children who came from us. The thing is, why do they want to control the right to know for adults in their 40's??? My daughter is a grandmother, for Pete's Sake! What is wrong with that picture?

To take it even further, what is wrong with the idea that we mothers need some recognition of just what was done to us? Why is this ignored? Whose ass is being covered? The industry has spent the majority of the time that this issue of open records has been around blaming us and our (fictional) "guaranteed privacy" and setting our children against us. I get so furious when these people presume to speak for us and don't even tell our truth. THE ONLY PARTIES GUARANTEED ANY PRIVACY OR ANONYMITY WERE THE ADOPTERS! Was that loud enough for you or should I enlarge the font?

Ontario has taken a giant leap forward and I applaud the efforts that got them to this place. Meanwhile, we in the US are still being dragged around in 1950's-style hypocrisy. It sucks.