Sunday, November 21, 2010
A Birthday Card For My Husband
He has never thought less of me because of my past, nor has he ever seen me as anything less that the mother of all my children. He once, while listening to a conversation about adoption, opined that, "blood is thicker than adoption papers." He has come to understand the dynamics involved and to appreciate the fact that I did not willingly surrender my two oldest children. Being an exiled, Natural Mother is part and parcel of who I am and he, Goddess Love Him, loves all of me.
He has never walked in the shoes of the coerced NMom, but he understands losing a child. He has also been privy to how people can be so inhumane and dispassionate towards each other. He has given me the most admirable example in how to honor those we have lost. His determination, after the untimely demise of his only child, was to live as good and full a life as possible as a memorial. Like our anger and grief as Moms has impelled us to want to make a difference, his grief has given him purpose. Now, all around him receive the gift of his compassion, decency and strong nurturing instinct.
Not all of my family, save my husband and my raised children, have been that understanding of this awakening, renewed grief and struggles of reunion. Many are still lost in the mist of propaganda such as is being spewed this month. I can only show them the truth in my journey. It is a hard one at times and they don't call it a roller coaster for no reason. I have many NMom friends who get my back and I get theirs as we tread this rocky slope.
But my husband walks beside me, and holds my hand when it is dark and holds me up when I stumble. You can't ask for more than that. It is more than many of us have and I know I am blessed. Happy Birthday, Dearest Darrell.
I am so glad you were born.