Sunday, November 21, 2010

A Birthday Card For My Husband

I am wishing my dear, dear Hubby a Happy Birthday on my blog for a very good reason. We had some adjustment problems in the early years of this, the second marriage for us both. But, through the entire 21 years, he has been unfailingly supportive of my reunions. There are times when he has wanted me to back away from the groups and the blogging because he saw me getting frustrated and, to be honest, hurt at times, but he listens to every one of these blogs and praises me for them.

He has never thought less of me because of my past, nor has he ever seen me as anything less that the mother of all my children. He once, while listening to a conversation about adoption, opined that, "blood is thicker than adoption papers." He has come to understand the dynamics involved and to appreciate the fact that I did not willingly surrender my two oldest children. Being an exiled, Natural Mother is part and parcel of who I am and he, Goddess Love Him, loves all of me.

He has never walked in the shoes of the coerced NMom, but he understands losing a child. He has also been privy to how people can be so inhumane and dispassionate towards each other. He has given me the most admirable example in how to honor those we have lost. His determination, after the untimely demise of his only child, was to live as good and full a life as possible as a memorial. Like our anger and grief as Moms has impelled us to want to make a difference, his grief has given him purpose. Now, all around him receive the gift of his compassion, decency and strong nurturing instinct.

Not all of my family, save my husband and my raised children, have been that understanding of this awakening, renewed grief and struggles of reunion. Many are still lost in the mist of propaganda such as is being spewed this month. I can only show them the truth in my journey. It is a hard one at times and they don't call it a roller coaster for no reason. I have many NMom friends who get my back and I get theirs as we tread this rocky slope.

But my husband walks beside me, and holds my hand when it is dark and holds me up when I stumble. You can't ask for more than that. It is more than many of us have and I know I am blessed. Happy Birthday, Dearest Darrell.

I am so glad you were born.

4 comments:

Sandy Young said...

Happy Birthday, Darrell! Hope your day is splendid! And, I hope all your wishes come true this year. You and my friend deserve that.

Robin, this is a lovely statement about your husband who is a truly wonderful partner to you in all ways. It is a good thing to share your life with a partner who understands and supports rather than undermines and dismisses. Good men!!

Anonymous said...

To Darrell and Robin,

First of all Happy Birthday to Darrell! This is from Gale

Wishing you many more to come with your loving wife Robin.
If only all of us were so lucky to have a wonderful supportive man in our life. Your love shows me their our men who love deeply and unconditionally allowing and helping Robin be the best she can be to help other mothers through our journey and the rollercoaster of reunion.
Even though you have suffered the ultimate the loss of your only son you keep on going
Darrell just like we mothers do in our lives.
There is a special place in our hearts for the men that stand by their women and you are one of those men.

Lori said...

Happy Birthday! May you keep your life full and complete. May love be the only flower in your garden.....

Robin, he sounds like my late husband, a good man. You are blessed.

kdawber said...

"May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us."

I received this quote in an email from a friend and after having read your blog wishing your husband a Happy Birthday it reminded me of your husband.

I so wish my husband whose birthday was Nov. 18th were like your husband but not so. In fact quite the opposite. You are truly blessed.

Thank you for sharing again and again.