Letter To Santa

 

Dear Santa,

I hope you don't mind me calling you by your first name. I have long known that you are not real, but, since I am entering my second childhood, I am going to suspend disbelief for a bit.

I have a long list for you and I urge you to hurry because much of this needs to be done BEFORE the holidays.

First off, I would like to see all the adoption records and Original Birth Certificates opened for both Mothers and Adoptees, without exception. I think that we have been maligned enough and our children have been denied enough to suit the Puritanical idea that we should have been punished for being human. Infant adoption should be a very last resort kind of thing and could we try that legal guardianship thing? I would like to see the concepts of social engineering and the importance of money removed from that equation, and special efforts made to keep Mothers and their infants together. We both know, don't we Santa, that is the way things SHOULD be?

Now for some toughies. Can you do something to deep-six Citizens United, Corporate Personhood, ALEC and the Dominionists? They are sending the world to hell in a hand basket in the name of the almighty dollar and ignorance disguised as ideology. Could you make the media trustworthy again and restore journalistic ethics? I know it's a tall order, but I have been a very good girl. If you could scuttle DOMA, too, that would be wonderful.

As I am sure you know,(for I am sure word reaches the busy environs of your North Pole Headquarters) we are in an election year. A little special consideration to the current POTUS would be much appreciated and really good for our country. Oh, and there is a big list I will be sending you of some people for your naughty list, Tea Party Members, John Birchers, KKK members and a bunch of Republican Governors. If you could see fit to engineer their disbanding and defeat, it would be a Merry Xmas, indeed!

How are you on reversing global warming and protecting the environment? Our businesses and governments have not done a real good job at this. In fact, the North Pole might be snowless and iceless if  fossil fuel craziness and emissions and pollution aren't halted. They are cutting down the trees faster than we can grow them. I have four great-grandchildren who might never again see a glacier or a wild animal or a forest if greed doesn't turn to green.

How busy are your elves and can you spare some of the heftier ones? I think the breach in the wall between church and state needs to be repaired and made stronger. For those of us who are not religious, the protection of that wall is essential. Those dedicated fundamentalists can be vicious! One even wrote a letter to the editor of her local paper, demanding that all atheists be run out of the country....and the editor printed it! That was a real "face-palm" moment for me.

It goes without saying that I would love to see an end to war, racism, sexism, and all the stuff that people do to make themselves feel like the big cheese and make others seem unworthy and expendable. If we can stop hating and stop fighting, then we won't have as much poverty and crime. I mean, as a species, aren't we supposed to grow up at some point?

Now, I don't wish anyone ill or, Dear Me No, dead, but there is a state called Utah.........I guess not, huh?

I'll have wine, cheese and goodies waiting for you, Santa. If they are not to your taste, I'll just have to eat them myself. It's fun being a kid again.

Love and Thank You,

Your Friend, Robin

Beheading The Hydra

"The Hydra is first mentioned in the Greek myth of Hercules, in the golden age of the culture (500 to 300 BC) when the hero, as one of many jobs, had to kill the Lernaean Hydra The most famous of the Hydra species.

The descriptions vary, but they always mention an aquatic serpent like creature that lives in a subterranean cave in Lernea Lake in Greece. It is described to have many heads (the number can vary from 3 or 5 to 10 to 100 to 1.000 and even to 10.000); the reason for this is that when you decapitate one head of a Hydra, two will grow in its place."

I have long thought of the myth of the Hydra as being representative of the complexities of the problems we often experience in life. Sometimes, it's not as simple as cutting off the head and waiting for the problem to die. Sometimes, we have to stand back and look at the big picture, see the monster for what it is (a big scary sumbitch) and gird our loins accordingly.

In the US, today, we are up to our collective asses in Hydras. We are surrounded by greed, poverty, ignorance, intolerance, injustice, malice and superstition. It often seems that if we gain a little victory over one issue, another two pop up in its place. We are frustrated, frightened and, too often, looking for someone to blame rather than trying to find progressive and effective solutions.

The US has created its own Hydra. It has scales of greenbacks, teeth of want, the anger of ignorance, and the poison of lies spews from its mulitple mouths. The head to be feared the most is that of ignorance. The blind acceptance of the words of the wealthy and powerful, the need to have others do our thinking for us and the assault on the human necessity of a good education has weakened us. People actually support those who would enact laws that are in direct violation of the these same voters' best interests.

I remember talking, years ago, to a woman who was sweet but not well educated. She was insisting that something was true that was not because she said she read it in the newspaper. I asked her what paper and she, triumphantly, showed me her copy of the National Enquirer. Ohhkaayyyy. This copy was stating that LBJ was behind labs that were experimenting on intergalactic aliens. I have finally realized that a biased and controlled media is also one of the heads of the Hydra. There are those who will believe that there IS a Bat Boy that was found, living in a cave and that Elvis was a secret agent and is living in Russia after faking his death. There are those that will believe the POTUS is a Kenyan Muslim and will never be shaken from that erroneous belief.

With gullibility of this nature, why not have a program on a so-called "educational" network about ancient aliens whose existence is postulated by pseudo-scientists with bad hair? Why not have Jerry Springer and Maury and Storage Wars and all the dumb stuff for dumb people that is aired on TV? Why not have religion trying to take over the law of the land? Hell, we rank and file Amurricans will believe anything.

I finally have arrived at the conclusion that we need to stab the Hydra in its heart. Our system needs renewing, renovating and a big cleaning job needs to be done in our Congress and various state legislations. We need to put new bricks in that wall between Church and State and reinforce it with rebar and concrete. Without this kind of action, the small minds and greedy hearts that are running the various shows will just multiply.

We can only do what we can do. We can speak out, stand up for the principals of equality and dignity and higher learning. We can vote, we can write, we can blog and we can, at least TRY to kill this monster that is taking us down. I have no idea of how successful we can be, but I do know that if we do nothing, then we deserve what we get. And that is the truth.

A Nice, Little Town

I live in Sanford, FL. It is a homogeneous community. We run the gamut from white to black and all colors in between. There is a lovely little downtown made up of mostly antique and art stores with some nice eateries. Sanford sits on the banks of the St. Johns River where it widens into Lake Monroe. For the most part, people tend to get along. But there are those who still carry the hate of racism bred by fear of anything or anyone different in their hearts. 

Recently, a young black man was shot and killed by a self-appointed vigilante. The 911 calls and the circumstances definitely lead to the conclusion that this death, which devastated a family, did NOT have to happen. Little Sanford was in the news for all the wrong reasons and so many of us who live here found ourselves angry that this happened and distressed for those touched by this terrible tragedy. Until this happened, very few people knew where Sanford is, who Trayvon Martin was and who George Zimmerman is.

I've not posted in a long time. I have found myself so overwhelmed by the injustices across the board in our nation, today, that it has been difficult for me to sort it all out. The shooting of Trayvon Martin has been one part of the insanity that seems to permeate our lives on every front. Political and social unrest are the norm and many of us are learning that things are not the way they taught us, in Government studies and American History, in school. I thought I had gone past my naivete', but I still had and still have a lot of eye-opening to do.

The inequities between the 1% and the 99% have never been more obvious. The fact is that there ARE people in this society whom those in power, the people able to make decisions and do things, believe are more entitled that others. That has long been obvious in the adoption industry. But now, there is no longer even a feeble attempt to conceal that sense of entitlement. If you are part of a certain race, a certain religion and a certain income level, then you are immediately considered among the elite. That sucks.

I wonder if we are seeing a backlash for daring to elect a Chief Executive who happens to be a man of color? Gee...Ya think? I remember being elated when the POTUS was elected. I thought that this was it...we, as a society, were finally maturing past the ignorance of the past. Boy, was I ever under a misapprehension.

The past year of campaigning has been an orgy of hate, lies and insanity and now there are people who remain uninformed or consider themselves above the fray who could contribute to the taking down of the real America. The acceptance of single motherhood may well be one of the casualties if this horrible thing were to come to pass.

So no, I have not abandoned the plight of Exiled Mothers and adopted people. I am dealing with the fact that my daughter and I are oil and water, right now. It is a conundrum that takes the breath out of me from time to time. I still stand for the right for Mothers AND their Adult Children to have access to OBC's and adoption records. I still stand fast against infant adoption that is, so often, terribly unnecessary. I still support Planned Parenthood, access to birth control and The Right To Choose. 

But I have seen that all of the previous paragraph is one page of the Book of The Decline Of America. We have a lot of work to do on many fronts. No one of us can do everything. Not all of our priorities are the same.

Right now, my attention is on the simple fact that for us to survive as a nation, we need to learn how to accept each other. We need to care about what happens to those who are hurt, needy and crying out for help. We need to be a community.

We need to be, on the inside, what Sanford seems to be on the outside.

Somebody Needs a Time Out

They say, "Don't feed the Trolls" and I, to a certain extent, agree. But I am sitting here, wondering what nerve I touched or if this is just general verbal garbage.

Our old friend "Anonymous"(Indian name is "Big Coward Afraid To Use Real Name") who seems to have problems with either sentence structure or English, left this gem in response to my "Shameful" post. When I get the really ridiculous, ignorant, totally off-the-wall comments, I love to shine the light of day on them.

"Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Shameful":
Won't you die already, old daughter of a bitch cunt. We do not care your
mother did not provide you with sufficient affection and love. Thankfully your
bigotry and views will be a thing of the past once your generation will
disappear."

So tell me, Anonymous; Was all the red licked off your candy, recently, or did someone urinate in your granola? It had to hit hard for you to call my mother names. Seeing as how she is deceased and beyond your gibes, the worst things you called me were "old" and "bigot." LOL...He/She don't know me vewwy well, do he/she?

Well, Trolls are gonna troll and they love to get a rise out of anyone. Have a good day, Anon. My friends and I have had a big laugh at your nastiness which is both clumsy and shows a gigantic lack of emotional control. Hope you got some bang for your buck. Happy trolling!

(Is it just me or is the world getting nastier?)

That Was Then...Look At Now

In 1962, ANY young woman who had even just one sex partner outside the bonds of holy deadlock was called a Slut, with impunity. And we had no recourse except to hold our heads up and try to survive. Some went into the closet and never came out again. Round heels, whores, "mattress-backs," tarts, hussies, easy and pushovers...those were just a few of the ways people referred to even the young woman who loved not wisely but too well. We were even held to blame if we were raped.

Once the Slut Bomb was thrown at you, it was hard to shed the title. In a small town where everyone knew everyone, it was nearly impossible. Girls were having sex that were either lucky or infertile. One woman I know who bragged of her virginity on her wedding day admitted to servicing her fiance manually until the big night.

The thing I find so absurd is that, had we had access to safe,

effective birth control in those days, we would have passed the marital finish line with reputation intact. Our fecundity was the curse that landed us in Slut-land. Back then, we just put up with the indignities that the cruel and Puritanical laid on us and tried to get on with living, as hard as that was. I was one that was determined to regain respectability by hook or crook. I don't think, in the eyes of my small community, that I ever did it. Once labeled, always labeled.

Now a young woman, a student, comes before Congress to plead the case for birth control for all and she gets slammed in the worst way with no evidence but that she advocates for the rights of all women to have access. The pompous and misanthropic Rush Limbaugh made crude observations and even cruder suggestions. And American women are up in arms and ready to do battle.

THIS is the kind of progress that has happened since I was a "teen-aged, unwed mother" in the early '60's. I, silly me, thought that the days of judging women by such stringent and unreasonable guidelines was over. But there is that small, LOUD, sex-obsessed group of theocrats, pundits and right-wing extremists who want to drag us all, kicking and screaming, back into the 19th century.

We, the products of our generation, had no real arena in which to protest the outrageous sexism of our day. Women struggled for one and got it and now they are geared up to use it. Women from all over the country and good, open-minded men, have written and called the sponsors of Limbaugh's show, carried on Clear Channel outlets, and he has apologized, weakly, twice. He is losing ad revenue for his sponsors and I see him fading away, just as Glenn Beck is doing. One woman answered his challenge in the New York Times.

I, for one, can't let this idiocy go unchallenged. The pudgy pundit is just one example of the unfair war against women..an attempt to "keep us in our place" by the powerfully insecure. We have GOP-heavy state legislatures churning out the anti-choice legislation as fast as they can but not doing a damn thing about the economy or jobs. We have a Klown Kollege Kampaign with Mittens McMoney, Ron "Stormfront" Paul, Newt "Philanderer" Gingrinch and the worst of the crazies, Sick Rantorum or "Frothy" (Google him).

What is worse is that there are other women who support this retrogression of our gender by force. They are the ones who blow me away. The pursed lips, bibles in hand and the box of tea bags usually gives them away. These prissy, asexual types would make good adoption agency social workers.....or nuns. I am sick of seeing hands slapped and voices stifled just because they are female. Oh, they allow the likes of Caribou Barbie, Coulter, Bat-Crazy Bachmann and others like them to have a say, but they speak as puppets of the Patriarchy or because they are simply nuts. As this gem from Patricia Heaton illustrates; "I really have great sympathy for Ms. Fluke and so in order to help her out I want to urge everyone to place at least one (unused) condom in an envelope and send to her at:Sandra Fluke C/OGeorgetown University Law Center600NewJersey Ave., NW,Washington,DC20001Maybe if enough of us respond she can make it through at least the next few months." For this atrocity in the LATimes, she offered a Limbaugh-Weak apology.

The GOP would not allow Sandra Fluke to testify in front of their panel yet entertained a full contingent of male clerics as "experts" on women's health. Sex-obsessed and using the fallacious sins of Eve to charge forth, these misogynists are forgetting one thing. Women are not like they were in the bad old days. We have a voice.

This upcoming election is important to the mothers of the BSE in more ways than one. We can erase that scarlet letter, once and for all, for us and our female progeny, by voting these dickless wonders out of office and refusing to remain silent. We have talked about our outrage at how we were treated in the past. How can we stand by and allow it to happen again?

We can speak up, now. They can throw names all they like, but we don't have to pick them up and wear them. They took our self-esteem, our autonomy and our babies and left us with ashes and they got away with it.

But that was then and this is now.

Shameful

My friend, Sandy, aka, Musing Mother, wrote a deeply moving and profound post, yesterday, entitled "Where's the Outrage?" Good question, Sandy. Damn good question.

I have such a deep, emotional investment in the need for justice for the mothers and adult children who were separated during the BSE, given no choice, no help, no right to even grieve our losses. This need has been an open wound and the actions of the Australian enquiry that is generating an apology (which is a good START) to the mothers of their BSE was like pouring alcohol into that wound.

I am so happy for the Mothers of the Australian BSE. I stand in awe of their determination and drive. I think of Di Welfare and her battle and hope, somehow, she knows that Lily Arthur and others carried on and are making inroads and that her struggle was worth it. Kudos, Ladies.

The pain comes from knowing that we, who are supposed to be the "modern" nation, are lagging behind, woefully, in progress.

Our victories have been small and the job ahead is momentous and in need of fewer factions and more cooperation. Like Sandy, I weep for the American mothers and adoptees. I weep because I see little to encourage me. I weep out of sheer envy that the Aussie Moms have a few reasonable people who listen in their government. I weep because we have become an elitist nation with no true democracy that would allow us to be taken seriously by the powerful.

I have become, as I grow older, increasingly ashamed of our government, our obsession with the bottom line and the Puritanical atmosphere that pervades the halls of our legislatures, courts and campaigns. We are NOT the leaders of the free world. We are dragging and lagging in so much and it is the attitudes that say business is more important than people and that we need to control with religion which has held us back.

I am reminded of an old TV commercial for a cigarette that had a jingle.."You've come a long way, Baby," as if having a 'feminine' smoke was a hallmark of our struggle as women. They played that commercial to death, yet the ERA failed by just a few states. Fear-mongering by the few and the loud brought it down. To me, that is just one of the indications of the sheer size of the struggle facing the Mothers and adoptees who want justice, open records and redress rather than the condescending kind of profit-based, token replies we have seen so far.

Cooperation, mutual support and understanding and respect between the different factions of this struggle in the USA could go a long way towards progress. I echo Sandy and other mothers who have carried seething outrage under our skins for decades. It's time to voice that outrage, to stop cutting off our noses to spite our faces, and stand together. If we don't, I know I will go to my grave, not ashamed of who I am, but ashamed of the nation of my birth.

The mothers in Australia have made this fight as much about them as it is about the adoptees. They have no problem with making their needs as important as those of their children. It's past time for us to do the same. We also have issues, pain and righteous anger over the way we were treated. We are Mothers who were not given the right to raise our own children over some kind of silly, religion-based, social mandate and we are pissed.

And there is no shame in that.

Strangest Bedfellows

I have been more political than adoption-oriented of late. And I went through a long, dry spell when I just couldn't, with all the other crap going on in the world, work up even a little bit of the old passion and fire. But Rick Santorum....yes, that's right...Rick Santorum, Old Frothy himself has geared me up for another go.

I will never understand mothers of loss who adopt. And you can bet your paycheck that, once they do, the adopter trumps the mother, everytime. I have a harder time with women who went through the injustice and indignities of the BSE who vote for the anti-choice candidates and are content with extremist, right-wing MEN making decisions about birth control.

HAVE WE LEARNED NOTHING?? If we ever, ever get a shot at justice, it is not going to be on the specious prayers of the rigid, Dominionist right. As far as they are concerned, we are still in the 19th century and we are still sluts. There is a cartoon showing what the inauguration of Frothy would be like and it showed all the women in burkhas. That is NOT far from the reality that this man espouses.

While Santorum pushed me over the edge, I have been getting nearer and nearer to that precipice as I watch the GOP members of Congress at work. Are they debating job programs. Have they introduced any legislative solutions to the economic crisis? Hell no! They are too concerned with what goes on in our bedrooms and reproductive organs to do something actually productive. They are trying a strategy of flogging us with ideology while dazzling us with sanctimonious bullshit.

With a group of asshats like that in power, justice and adoption reform of any kind are just a distant dream. Yeah, I know the pro-adoption bunch sit on both sides of the aisle but tell me the truth. Can't we have a better chance with elected officials that try to respect the rights of women in general or am I going daft in my dotage?

Those of us in my age group, the mothers of the BSE, know what it was like to have no autonomy, little say in our own fate or the fate of our infants and living our experience as the daughters of Eve...responsible for the lusty behavior of the male 50% of our dilemma. We remember when we were held responsible if we were raped. It was all on our shoulders.

So we were good girls and tried to be the best mothers we could be and were constantly told that the best mother we could be would be an "un-mother" and that our children would really be grateful. Guess what. Most of them didn't like it worth a damn!

I had thought that we had come a long way from that oppressive time. But if we don't use our memories and if we fall for the Pharisee that shouts "Lord! Lord!" the loudest, we are going to lose some precious ground. The government will be in our beds, our healthcare and our reproductive decisions and we will be back in the same old boat. Screw that! There have been too many broken hearts, too many tears, too many relationships that are forever bent out of recognizable shape by an unnatural separation. There have been too many families torn apart too many times by people who HAVE NO BUSINESS MESSING IN OUR BUSINESS!

These are the same people who cry out for smaller government yet want to micro-manage the lives of women. We have to send a strong message to these good old boys. We have to boot them out of the bedroom and vote them out of our wombs. Our marital status, our decisions about contraception and pregnancy, our sexual orientations are not what government is about.

Jobs, healthcare, education, infrastructure....all these are the things to which our national government and our state governments should be attending. Any mothers who are in league with the extremist Far Right are into extremely strange bedfellows or else they are just masochists who can't use the brains they were born with.

Excuse me if I refuse to lie down with control freaks who want to tell me what I can and cannot do with my own body. There!

Time To Go...AHEAD

It is past time to kick the garbage out. It is past time to see the last of the Becks, Santorums, Gingrinches, Bachmanns, Palins and Limbaughs, the Boehners, Cantors and Mitchells. It is time to see the back end of the Kochs and Norquists and Fat Cat CEO's as they leave the halls of our governments to the people.

It's time to bid a happy farewell to superstition, to the pulpit-pounders, fear-mongers, papal fripperies, priestly foibles, funeral demonstrators and TV evangelical, power-hungry wannabes. It's time to open the door and push out all the flesh-peddlers posing as missionaries and agencies supposedly helping poor mothers, along with the planet-killers and abusers of all species, human and animal.

It's time to leave hellfire and brimstone behind and live the lives we were meant to live, with reason, and humane morality. It is time to build an extra thickness and height into that wall of separation between state and church. It is time to enact legislation based on reality and reason rather than the patriarchial prattle of stone-age herders.

It is time for men to leave the decisions about a woman's health and reproduction to the owner of her body...to HER. It is time to get the extreme conservatives and dirty-minded church deacons and pastors out of the wombs of the 52% of our population that claims them by the right of gender. It is time for all of them to get the Hell out of our bedrooms.

It is time to tell people, everywhere in this country, that you can be as biased as you like, but you better not act on it by denying equal treatment or enacting any of your knee-jerk eugenics on those who are different. It is time to render to our President the respect due his office and his intelligence and efforts.

It is time to banish poverty, out-of-reach healthcare, homelessness and injustice. It is time to allow people to protect their earnings and their ability to earn a living, to protect jobs and create more. It is time to stop throwing money into the military machine and start repairing our nation's infrastructure. It's time to begin increasing the quality and availability of a good education and lowering the burden for students and parents. It is time for compassion and common sense.

It is time to stop the rape and ruin of our Constitution and to welcome Lady Liberty and Lady Justice back into their rightful places, torch, blindfold and scales and all. It is time to stop being arrogant nationalists, snobbish isolationists and wavers of the flag and the cross. It is time to realize that our country is far from perfect...Hell, it isn't even close, and work on trying to fix it. It is time to take the money out of government and the bribes out of the lobbies of Congress.

It is time for each of us, no matter the age, gender, income, color or level of education, to have our say. We are the life's blood of the USA. Without us, there is no one for the power mongers to oppress, cheat or hurt. It is no longer just a matter of OUR rights but more a matter of WHAT'S right.

The harvest is down the road, but the seeds are being planted. We till our own rows, we talk the talk and walk the walk and then we reap. A long time ago, I learned that what is right is very simple, but never easy. It takes work. It takes courage. It takes wanting better for everyone..not just oneself. I don't have any quick answers except to keep talking, keep writing the people in government, sign and pass on petitions, pass out information and stay informed, yourself.

Don't depend on major media sound bites and a single newspaper. Dig deep, investigate, research and be willing to accept it if you have erred on the side or your own personal bias. Shoe leather isn't too bad with salt and a beer. Open your mind and learn.

It is said that a person with problems will only start to get better when they finally hit bottom. Well, I have watched for over 66 years as this beautiful land we live in has gone down a very slippery slope. Our technical achievements have far outstripped our social advances. I have learned the sad lesson that anyone, all the way up to Supreme Court Justices CAN BE BOUGHT!

Our puritanical attitudes are an international joke and the Ugly American is an international reality. It is a small world now. We have to live with other nations, and other races and we have to do it in a true spirit of cooperation. Again..simple but not easy.

I don't know why I wrote this blog today...I had been staying away from stress as much as possible. But this frustration, this grief as I mourn the death of human decency and kindness I see all around me, compelled me to make this plea.

Plant a seed, tend your row and don't let the assholes win!