Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Ladies Taking On The Marketplace


I have heard people say that you can't fight City Hall. In this day and age, that has translated to "you can't fight Big Business." Adoption is one of the biggest, government sanctioned businesses trading in human beings in existence. It is global, it affects at least one in every four families and its damaging legacy reaches out to more than just the mother and child involved.
I have seen the effects of this unnatural trade in human flesh in my children, my grandchildren, my sisters, my friends, etc., etc. If this were "Star Wars," I would call it a disturbance in the Force.
Sick of it, I am. Yoda, I am not.
Those of us who went through the shaming, blaming, coercion and loss before certain others were even potty-trained, are aware that we are taking on a major social mythology, a thriving industry with big guns and we don't have any illusions that it might be easy. We know it won't and never expected it to be easy.
That is why we are concentrating on the era in which the industry gained its power and impetus. The Era of Mass Surrenders (the Baby Scoop Era) DID happen. We know because millions of us lived it. To deny it is to deny racism during the Jim Crow era or the horrors of the Holocaust. Just because certain people don't want to recognize it, doesn't mean it wasn't real, horrific in numbers and attitudes towards the mothers, and an injustice that needs addressing. We figure those who don't want to see it are those who fear what the revelation and acknowledging of the EMS might mean to their personal views or their avenue to gains, be it a baby or money. Accepting the views of others as having validity scares the Hell out of some people. Being an Adoption Iconoclast is not easy but we won't back down.
With the reactionary, ultra-conservative, Lame Duck political faction, who were chief backers of the Adoption Industry, losing their grip, we have the best chance we have had, in many years, to find someone who will listen and consider. We don't expect it to be tomorrow. There are things being done by the appropriate groups that will only bear fruit down the line. But, with a lot of hard work, belief and, yes, passion for that belief, we can keep on working and talking and blogging, and sending letters and emails and press releases and hope we can contact the right people. We have a good person looking into that, right now.
See, it isn't my job to let anyone know what SMAAC or any other group of this kind is doing. That is none of the business of the general public. But don't think things aren't being done because they are. This is where it comes down to maturity and understanding. Either we can put our energies to our own causes and wish the rest good fortune with theirs, or we can waste time name-calling and trying to divide for personal power.
I once was part of the feminist faction that rejected the term, "Ladies" and preferred only the designation of "women." Well, in my haggish dotage, I have finally learned what a real lady is and it has nothing to do with white gloves, virginal demeanor and the proper way to serve tea. Being a lady means generosity of spirit, kindness and saying what you feel without resorting to insults, vulgarities and snide comments. Being a real lady is hard work.
That's what the people who give audience to our petitions will be seeing....a group of real ladies who have learned that being strong and determined IS feminine and lady-like. Is the Adoption Market ready for the Confrontation of the Ladies?

1 comment:

Sandy Young said...

OMG, Robin, you nailed it. There is nothing lady-like about being a door mat. That is just lame. We are strong and strong-willed, and our cause is righteous. We will not back down, and that is the true definition of lady, I believe. A lady is someone who is aware of her own worth and will not settle for treatment that doesn't reflect that worth, now or in the past. We Ladies of the EMS deserved to have been treated with dignity and the same respect that we offer to other human beings. Since we were not, we will demand an apology now from those who mistreated us. That is very lady-like behavior indeed.

When I think about what is happening in SMAAC, and the curiosity I see about what we are "doing" online, I am reminded of the duck who seems so serene on the surface, but is paddling like mad underneath! That is what is happening in SMAAC. We are like ducks, paddling furiously toward the New Year!