Oh, but dear Anonymous, they WERE there. They were part of the system, the society, the attitude and were the beneficiaries, along with the agencies, of our suffering. They knew who was being expelled, fired, sent to "live with and aunt" and who returned a few months later, an emotional basket case. They were the ones who whispered behind the backs of the girls who "got caught" while many of them were doing the same thing but were not caught or else had daddies with deep pockets who could pay the right doctor to perform a "therapeutic D & C."
Why do you think a women would call the reuniting of her adoptee with the natural mother "her worst nightmare" if she didn't KNOW, in her heart, the kind of pain we were feeling. Oh, a lot of them have told themselves the same fairy tale, over and over again, until they can push the truth back into a dark corner of their mind, but, being women, they KNEW. They were able to convince themselves that we were irresponsible sluts to justify taking our children.They were also given a lot more information about us that most of them will let on, especially to the adoptee.
Those paragraphs in the surrender documents were not there to protect us "girls" (BTW, we are women, fully grown, now) but were placed there to protect adopters because they, adopters and facilitators, KNEW that the love of a mother was strong enough for her to want to seek out her child unless there were some strong threats to deter her. Most of us were threatened with jail and/or financial ruin for our families.
So don't try to hand me or my sisters from the EMS that kind of bull manure. They knew, the social workers knew and all the other who chastised, mistreated, denigrated, labeled, coerced and devastated us, INCLUDING THE ADOPTERS, knew. Unless you lived in that era, you couldn't possibly understand or see the truth when it is staring you in the face.
Most adopters are still in denial. The reason we are their worst nightmare is that they know our anguish and their culpability in it. They also know the difference between a mother/child bond and an attachment formed by a child so that that child can survive.
They didn't want to be told how much we were injured, but they KNEW. If they deny it, it is because they don't want that halo to show its tarnish. Their "joy" was our anguish and they KNEW. If they don't feel guilty about it, they should.