It seems that, no matter how many times we say it and in how many ways we say it, the ones who need to hear this just can't seem to pick it up. Here goes, one more time...NO WHERE, IN ANYTHING WE WERE COERCED INTO SIGNING WHEN WE WERE YOUNG, UNMARRIED MOTHERS CAUGHT IN THE EMS/BSE WEB, DID IT SAY ANYTHING WHATSOEVER ABOUT GUARANTEEING OUR 'PRIVACY!'
The whole argument given by the closed-records proponents seems to be built around protection of the natural mother's privacy. That is just so much reeking manure! Guaranteed privacy was for the adopters....not the mothers. We were supposed to go away, keep our loss a secret and, if the wishes of the adopters were granted, die young.
Too many of us took those injunctions to never speak of our experience to heart for too many years. There is a very small minority of mothers from that era who still operate from shame and secrecy. But they do NOT speak for the bulk of us anymore than the, so-called, experts do. In other words, ask US. Don't ask the Evan B. Donaldson Institute or the social workers or adoption attorneys and anyone who has adopted. They are going to cover their asses and lie.
The most ridiculous aspect of this whole thing is the fact that these people are trying to control free association between ADULTS!! My daughter's adoptress tried to make me back off after my daughter found me. I answered her by letting her know that my daughter was 33 years old and it would be her decision as to whether or not to pursue a relationship. And here I thought that the Civil War took care of this ownership of human beings thingy.
The legal machine in this country, the courts and the judiciary have played God so long that I think they actually believe they should have the power to create virgins out of young girls who have given birth and something superior to the blood bond when they "make a family." Puh-leeze, people! You can twist and pull at that bond, but it never breaks. Unfortunately, it does distort and causes unbelievable pain.
SMAAC and other groups like it are not about what happens after adoption. We are concerned with what happened to us from the time we became pregnant until surrender. Some of us are finding out that the period between surrender to the agencies and the actual adoption was a time when we were the only parents recognized. It was a time when, had we been told and received the proper support, we could have taken our children back. The lies we were told are legion. The truth-twisting of today is nothing more than the original liars trying to paste Kevlar to their quivering butt cheeks.
Stop blaming mothers and start opening the records for us all. It's time for the secrets and lies to be laid to rest.
And a word of advice to a few of you adopted people; It really scares a lot of the moms, who are still traumatized by the treatment we received when we lost you, to read the vile and hateful things many of you post about natural mothers. We DO have a right to protect our peace of mind and to protect our personal safety. Get mad at the right people and stop raking your mothers over the coals. Just a suggestion.