Well, we finally have a topper for the concept introduced by wannabe adopters of being "paper pregnant." There is now a tee-shirt that is just too specious for words, proclaiming that adoption is the "new pregnant." To say I am offended would be an understatement. I presume that home studies are the "new sex/conception?"
http://www.celebrity-babies.com/2008/04/adoption.html
They can take our babies, but they can't take the experience of conception, gestation and childbirth, so they decide to re-define something so elemental and natural that it shouldn't be messed with, at all, to fit the fantasy world of "as if born to."
The smugly smiling model wearing this abomination of a message tee shirt can grin all she likes. I still don't see a baby bump. I don't see that glow and the hand on the protruding belly as the baby moves inside. I don't see Dad and older sibs with their ears and hands on Mom's pregnant belly, joining in the natural family experience. I don't see a damn thing about any of it that is real. I sang and talked to my babies while I carried them inside me. Do the pre-adopters sing a tee shirt lullabye?
It seems the more adamant people get about adopting being some kind of God-given right of the infertile, the farther away from reality they get. The fantasy is becoming the new reality if one must make some kind of statement along those lines. I think that pro-adoptionists, facilitators, eugenicists and PAPs stay awake at night trying to think up ways to take from us what they never will be able to have....the experience of being pregnant and giving birth.
Here's another idea for a tee for the fantasy-prone. How about "Invading the Privacy of Labor and Delivery is the new Childbirth," or "Hangovers From Celebrating Nabbing a B****mother is the New Morning Sickness?" These make just about as much sense and are as unreal as the tee that inspired this post.
What scares me is that people with this other-worldly train of thought and immersion in fantasy are passing home studies and raising the children of unsuspecting women who were duped into surrender. Should these people be raising children if they cannot accept the reality of what adoption truly is? Adoption is paper parenthood and a legalized lie. To try to make it anything else is "the new alchemy." They still cannot turn lead into gold.
It seems, though, that self-delusion has become socially acceptable.
10 comments:
I think that my amother looks at my brother and me and resents us because we did not come from her body. Since I found my natural mother, the resentment seems to be worse. It went up another level when my husband and I got pregnant and had our little boy. I want to tell her that my nmom didn't have a choice but she, my amom, did choose to adopt so get over it. That tee shirt is hugely stupid.
bta...have you tried talking to your adopter about this issue? It sounds to me like she is very insecure due to her infertility and, probably, yes, your pregnancy and reunion upped the ante for her. You can't fix her, but you can reassure her and it might make life easier for you both.
Proof of rampant schizophrenia.
Isn't this a restatement of the old mythology: I have the economic power to take your baby, so it's just like I gave birth to your baby.
I do not ever want to see anybody wearing this t-shirt, unless the same merchants start selling one that reads, "Adoption: It's the new kidnapping."
yeah i've seen that shirt and it is incredibly ridiculous and offensive. i promise i will be going up to anyone i ever see in real life wearing it and striking up a major conversation(/rant).
I'm Robin too, btw. :) Hi.
I love your suggestions for additional tee shirt messages.
I really do not like this t-shirt, and I think it is very rude and disrespectfull...not to mention plain dumb. Adoption will never be the new pregnant, and to think that is stupid. I personally hope I never see a person walking down the street wearing one, they defiantly will get a piece of my mind. How hurtfull that is to all firstmoms :(
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