Least Favorite Things

Even if you are no Julie Andrews, you can give this a try. These are a few of my things that suck. Sung to the tune of "My Favorite Things."

Hostile adopters when we reunited,
Smug social workers and love bombs ignited,
Force and coercion and brainwashing too,
These are the things that they might do to you.

Women in crisis are such easy pickin's,
Just like a tragedy written by Dickens.
No diapers to change and no lullabyes to sing,
These are a few of the suckiest things.

(Chorus)When you learn that you are pregnant ,
And you seek their aid,
They tell you adoption's your only good option,
And you shouldn't feel afraid.

Surrender papers, adoption attorneys,
PAPs walking next to maternity gurneys,
Grabbing that baby while still on its string,
These are a few of the suckiest things.

Just one small picture, then promises broken,
Possessive adopters don't care what's been spoken,
Your contact will melt like a snowman in spring,
Aren't these all just the suckiest things?

(Chorus)And reunions, often awkward, tell the story true,
That adoption has warped that unbreakable bond,
And the one that is hurt...is you.

So go on, believe them and buy the whole story,
Bask in the love and the heroine's glory,
It will be all over when the birthing bell rings,
That's why adoption's the suckiest thing.

(Repeat chorus)

With apologies to Rogers and Hammerstein and all the mothers out there who bought the line and drank the Kool Aid.