Wednesday, July 23, 2008

"Give Me A Child, Lest I Die"


The stories are from all over our country, about women who covet a child, so badly, they will murder for one. This woman has even tried it more than once. Here's a rundown of more of these "cutters" who will invade the womb of a woman to obtain the fetus and claim it as their own. I don't have enough space on this blog to list them all, but you read your news, and you know how prevalent this atrocity is becoming. It is taking the old Biblical lament for a child and altering it to say, "give me a child, lest YOU die."

Many a potential adopter will shake their heads and "tsk-tsk" at the lengths to which these desperate women will go to get a child, yet don't equate that extreme with the baby-raiding they do on a daily basis. I have seen cases where a young, pregnant, some even MARRIED women were followed around in Wal-Mart, at the mall and other places, by women who finally approached her with a card giving all the reasons why she and her husband would make better parents for her child than she would or to just outright ask her for her baby. Rude doesn't even begin to cover it, but is it any worse than those saccharine "Dear Barfmuggle" letters and ads?

No, not really, as I answer my own, rhetorical question. This kind of desperation for a baby is pathological, psychotic and very, very dangerous. I see this frenzy in women becoming so prevalent that it is frightening. These wannabe's will travel to other countries to adopt a baby or toddler in order to avoid ever having to deal with the fact that there is a natural mother. They jump into open adoption agreements and then slam them shut in the mother's face the minute their fantasy of "as if born to" becomes threatened or if the child prefers and delights in the natural mother's visits. Then they whine about the mother not wanting contact. They don't stop to think that, for many of these mothers, contact is just too damn painful. I can't imagine knowing my child and having no say in the decisions made for that child's welfare, to hear my child call another woman "Mommy" and to be treated like a distant relative or worse. No, open adoption is torture for the mother.

I am wondering what would happen if, instead of billions of dollars being spent trying to "fix" infertility and promote adoption, there were more efforts made towards practical counseling to help people deal with and accept their condition the way other disabilities are treated. This is the only human condition where human infants are used as two aspirin and a band-aid. In the end, adoption "fixes" nothing, confuses a child and, secretly, disappoints a lot of adopters.

There was a time in our recent history when, if a married couple did not produce children, that was just the way things were, and they went on to live full and productive lives. The drive to produce offspring is a genetic urge to reproduce ones genetic heritage. Adoption just doesn't do that. And giving birth does not make a woman "complete." If she is not already complete within herself, then she has a problem that a plethora of womb-fresh adoptees will not solve.

There are those who say that adoption will always be with us. I pray that is not so, but if it is, then there needs to be more done towards counseling prospective adopters, helping them deal with the fact that adopting is not going to fix infertility, save a marriage or complete a persona. Seeing children as something to covet has created "Womb-raiders" of all kinds, from the celebrity baby-buyer to the womb-cutter.

What's wrong with this picture?


maybe said...

I just can't imagine taking another woman's child (at any age) and pretending to be the "real" mother. It just seems so unnatural. Even if for some reason I ended up raising another woman's child (which I never intend to do), I would always know he or she was the child of another woman, and I would be sure to maintain the bond between mother and child.

So many women who adopt just completely forget the mother....I can't even begin to fathom how that is possible.

Anonymous said...

Destroying the mother is what adoption is about.

Once the mother is out of the way the adopter can become the "mother"

this is warped and pathological adoption destroys so much more than it creates.

Anonymous said...

The "cutters" are just one end on the spectrum of women who are willing to commit crimes against mothers. There are millions more who are willing to blindly participate in infant adoption. The literature is out there on the effects of adoption on mothers and their children. As we know, the social workers, "facilitators" and lawyers are often aps - wolves in sheeps clothing. so many people JUST.DON'T.CARE!


Marley Greiner said...

There's a whole lot of things that need to be tied into this It's not not baybee rabies, which you'll find in any culture. US baybee rabies is very much connected to American exceptionalism, neo- and post colonialism, race, economics, class, a very particular form of middle class entitlement, bad government social policy, social engineering,Christianity with different Catholic and Protestent angles, gender inequity--oh the list could go on. It would be a hellluva a job to out this all together.