Sitting In The Sue-Her Sewer

Well, I have learned that I was both wrong and right about the mandatory medical information requirements on open records bills. No, we will not be forced to submit them and no, we will not be imprisoned for not submitting them or not having all the information. Not bad, huh? I was wrong. Mea culpa.

HOWEVER, it seems that there has been a history of "wrongful adoption" lawsuits, brought by the adopters, in just about all the cases, against the agencies, both private and state, where they complain about a lack of complete information on the child they adopted. They usually seek damages including, but not limited to, medical expenses, legal expenses, psychiatric expenses, loss of companionship of said child, and other punitive damages. The states are covering their arses with each bill that is introduced that has that medical information provision included.

By the use of subrogation, a new term to me, the states and private agencies that are sued by adopters and adopted people and lose can then, because of the medical information requirement, turn around and sue the mothers for information they say they did not receive. When you think of subrogation, think of a faulty automobile. If you are injured in an accident caused by a faulty auto part, your insurance will pay you for your injuries and lost transportation. Then, they can turn around and sue the auto manufacturer for what they lost in paying out your beneifits. Sisters, we mothers are sitting in a cesspool, waiting for the first flush. We can be sued, by virtue of the medical information provision, by our own, adult children. Some adopters might want to skip suing the middle man and go straight to the source. Oh, Happy, happy, joy, joy.

 I decry the current "dirty" bills and passed legislations that demand more than is reasonable from us and the people who sponsor and write them. I cannot believe that agencies and state facilitators have nothing to do with the way these things are worded. If our children all hate us that much, then why even try? We might as well retreat into the closet, or change our names and move to RatsAss, Mongolia. The mothers who are of the "all and everything for the adoptees" ilk can take their guilt and shove it. You are betraying and possibly destroying other mothers when you don't question and object to dirty legislation that puts your sisters in the line of fire.

Mothers have rights and we SMAAC Moms are tired of being treated as a repository for everyone's angst and disappointments. We are not a bottomless source of scapegoats for the industry any more than we are brood mares for adopters. We are factioned, fractured and one hand knows not what the other one does. I am Gee Dee tired of having to argue that we are as worthy of equal treatment under the law as any other citizen including our adult, surrendered children. This is just one more reason why we need to be able to get each other's backs.

Now, we don't assume or pretend to speak for all mothers, but we will not walk in lockstep with the ones in denial and the ones who live mired in guilt. Self-respect is a good and positive thing...something we deserve to pursue along with other aspects of happiness. It isn't just a matter of our civil or human rights anymore. It is a matter of our CONSTITUTIONAL rights being dragged through the septic tank. I haven't seen anything in the US Constitution that denies equal rights due to sex and/or pregnancy outside of marriage. If there were such a provision, there would be millions of people in a world of hurt.

No, it is assumed entitlement, assumed moral superiority and the almighty, capitalistic bottom line that makes us such handy targets. Look well. There is no apple on my head waiting for the arrow of litigation. This crackwhore, slutty barfmuggle has HAD IT with this nonsense. I will protest this crap until I am in the cremations chamber. I am not going to spend the last part of my life being pushed back into the "bad girl" slot by the industry  or the government or our children. I am no longer the frightened naif that was isolated and coerced and shamed by those that should have protected me.

I grew up and this Mama don't play that game.