Whatever our differences with each other, we are now, for the most part, all on the same page. We know who will fight our battle (us) and who won't. We have done years and years of talking, investigating, learning and, along the way, trying to pass the message along to younger moms-to-be about the pain of loss to adoption.
Now, Ladies, it is OUR turn. Whether we do it all under the umbrella of one organization or from auxiliary cells, we can work together for the ultimate goal..recognition, investigation, redress and an apology for the Adoption Holocaust of the Baby Scoop Era.
If we are successful, it could change the national image of adoption as a positive thing to the tragedy that it really is, it could prevent more mothers from surrendering their newborns and it could, hopefully, force the CPS to do what it is supposed to do and that is to HEAL families..not pick them over for adoptable newborns and toddlers. It could put into place a system of kinship and/or legal guardianship that would leave the identity of the child intact for those children in real need of removal. To me, this sounds like Heaven on Earth.
Many of us are feeling a renewed self-respect...something that many of us lost during the BSE. Nothing that any adopter, social worker or eugenicist from the far right can say will ever make me feel "less than" again. I wasn't a slut then and I ain't one now! But being branded as one by the society of the BSE has left a scar on many of us. I can still feel the pain of having my friends turn against me and even avoid my younger sisters. I can feel the disappointment I would always feel from coming home from another date where the only thing that was on my date's mind was that he was going to "get lucky" with what he thought was the "town pump." I learned some good defensive moves during that time, but it still didn't prevent the rape that conceived my son.
That pain of yesterday, the loss of my children and my self-respect, is the fuel for today's anger. I can't change what happened back then and I cannot get my babies back. All of us have enough sense to see that. But we can try to get some justice and that is a fight worth fighting. Let's make a mighty noise...one that might bring the BSE moms still in the closets of shame out into the light. If they know we are waiting for them with arms open wide, maybe they will have the courage to face the light of truth.
To the nay-sayers and the self-promoters and the "careful" ones out there, don't discount us and don't sell us short. We're older, but we ain't dead yet.
5 comments:
I think that part of the problem is some organizations try to do too much.
-- There is a focus on open records
-- There is a focus on justice for BSE mothers
-- There is a focus on fighting CURRENT adoption industry practices and helping keep families together.
- there is a focus on support groups,
-- there is a focus on search and reunion services...
-- etc. etc. etc.
This broad model encompassing justice-for-BSE-Moms, open records, adoption reform, and support groups is not working well over here. DID not work well, as recent experience showed.
And you can't have an effective organization if it is like a spider with 8 legs, each going in a different direction.
We are too large and spread-out here in North America to be able to tackle ALL these mandates.
It is good to see a specific group form with a specific mandate to focus on BSE-era injustices. By being focused and specific, we can achieve miracles.
And hopefully a similar group can form to focus on reproductive exploitation (i.e. current industry practices) because that could work well on its own as well. But the two issues are separate!
You make a good point. My focus is the BSE. No apologies, although I will step in and help any women in the here and now who need assistance in order to keep their babies. Umbrella organizations are also ripe for dissent and infighting and I am really very tired of that. When issues can overtake egos and personal agendas, who knows what might be accomplished.
Good for you Robin! :)
exactly. i agree with you 100%, Robin. Egos, infighting, personal agendas, and coups are a common result of too broad a focus in too new an organization. We need to begin with small focused organizations, and then maybe later on form alliances. But not until we get moving, grounded, and successful in what we do.
BSERI is a great start towards this.
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