Monday, May 19, 2008


I am SUCH a wuss. This getting used to a mouthful of acrylics is gonna be tough and I have some definite sore spots, plus open wounds where the front 12 teeth were pulled Friday. But when I look in the mirror and see clean, white, even teeth that still look natural...Dr. Probst and Dr. Lee, you guys are artists. I'll get used to them no matter what it takes.

Speaking of sore spots, Bastardette directed me to am editorial piece called the "Gift of Anonymity," which lauded the idea of closed records and "protecting" the privacy of the mothers. I wonder how many times and in how many ways we are going to have to say this before they stop pulling that old chestnut out of the fire? Most of us have looked and looked and wracked our memories and we can find NOTHING in the surrender papers we signed, especially those of us from the Baby Scoop Era, that states we are guaranteed any sort of anonymity, confidentiality or "privacy protection."

Only those few mothers still cowering in the closet of shame and blame find confidentiality to be a good idea. The rest of us are looking at each other and going, "Say what?" My fondest dreams came true when my daughter found me and we found my son just a few months later. I was not ashamed, nor was I feeling the urge to hide the fact that I was an (shudder and organ music) UNWED Mother!! EEEEEK! For Pete's Sake, get real People! The entire idea of such secrecy is anathema to the mental and emotion health of both the adopted person and the mother. The ONLY people who are "protected" by anonymity are the adopters and the facilitators.

As the spectre of a Democratic administration looms on the horizon of the far right's perfect world, I see a Media scramble to spread the scare tactics. "Juno" was nothing but propaganda, "Baby Mama" is more of the same and Madonna's not only "Keeping Her Baby, " but is raiding the third world for more child-flesh. I noticed in the daily comics, today, Lu Anne's friend, Delta, was naming all the things that were wrong with this world and mentioned "teen pregnancy." The funny thing about that is that recent statistics show that there are more single mothers in the 20 and over age group. And most of these young women have been brainwashed by the same media representation of adoption as has everyone else. Everybody wants to be a hero, even when the heroism is just so much smoke and mirrors and mythology.

The sore places in my mouth will go away, God willing, and I should soon be off my smoothie and soup regimen. I wish the adoption sore spots would go away as quickly.


Anonymous said...

Ooooooo OWIE...I just had a root canal and that was gruesome enough..You poor thing..I hope that everything will get better now for you..well in regards to your teeth anyway :)
Why have I not come across you before ?
I've only read a few of your blog posts, and when time permits I will read some more..but damn it all to hell I'm sorry I haven't come across you before and stopped in to give you a big Hug ((((Robin))))... How I wish that it was someone like yourself who had been my Mother that gave birth to me...But no I had to have the one that abandoned me and since finding her , getting rejected all over again and let me tell you as a adult it hurts a hell of a lot more. I want a Mummy Like you that absolutely craved having her child back to her again..
I have met so many beautiful first mums through blogging and the only thing that saddens me is that mine isnt like them...
I'm going to add you to my List of Mothers blogs roll if thats okay with you Robin :)
PS if there are any typos its because the comment box for some reason for me only comes up half and i can not get it to open fully its so weird !

Robin said...

Please feel free to add it, Jane, and I am so sorry that your mother is still stuck in that negative mind-set. She is cheating herself as much as you.

Whenever I hear about mothers like that, I always wonder what is scaring them so. It is usually fear of something, an expecially traumatic memory or a deep secret that they cannot bear to face. My son was conceived by a date-rape, but it never occurred to me to deny my love for him because of that. But many mothers who were raped, victims of incest or mistreated as children, themselves, do have a problem with their adult children and reunion. There are a lot more categories that exist, I am sure.

Teeth are in, soreness is going away and I can chew soft stuff! Progress....Yay!!