Saturday, June 21, 2008

Another Definition


The "Church Lady" is one of my favorite icons to use when talking about people who judge other people, especially those who judge the single mother-to-be and anticipate that she will SURELY abuse and neglect which is an unsubstantiated and biased attitude. These are also the people who will punish the woman rather than offer her help if she needs it. Why would people behave that way? Could it be....SATAN???
I have been challenged about using the term, "self-righteous" and I looked back and, yes, I have used it. I use it as defined in this way (my own definition);
self-righteous; adjective; The assumption by a person or group of people that they are morally and/or otherwise superior to another person or persons.
So, do I think adopters are self-righteous? Well, to be honest, and looking into my personal interaction with those who adopt.....YES. They see themselves as the "saints" who have "rescued" a child from the horrors of that child's family of origin. And don't be fooled...herein the USA, in Africa, in China, in Russia and other places, there are extended family members who would care for a child if the child's mother is incapable. The problem is that the state and opportunistic adoption brokers step in. I know of one very lovely grandmother who fought for custody of her grandchildren, but Florida was too eager to boost their infant and toddler adoption quota.
In a lot of those foreign countries, such as Guatemala, these supposed "orphans" were stolen or bought from their families who were plied with lies about what would happen to their child. It has already been proven that there was a father who wanted his African daughter but the celebrity's money spoke louder than his parental rights.
The CPS in various states, will seize children of adoptable age for little to no reason, at times, other than a dirty kitchen or poverty. Rather than helping the family, they disrupt and dismantle it. There is an active organization of families who children have been confiscated by the state without good reason who are fighting to get their children back WHERE THEY BELONG.
For a child, truly in need, kinship guardianship should be the very first option explored by these social wreckers. If that is not available, then a legal guardianship that has an open-ended stipulation that if said parent cleans up and gets right, those kids get a chance to be re-integrated into the family of their own, personal heritage.
So, let me go on public record here, without rancor, as saying that I have witnessed both self-entitlement and self-righteous behavior in adopters. Mea frickin' Culpa. I am not the least bit ashamed or sorry for calling something, that is waddling, quacking and has webbed feet, a duck. I've been around too long to quibble about what I mean and don't mean.
With apologies to the late Dr. Seuss, "I meant what I said and I said what I meant. This Senior Mother is honest about that, 100%!" If you don't like it, don't read it.

1 comment:

Ana's Mama said...

Nice read.