Just like those rabid, right-wingers tried to make a dirty word out of the term "liberal," it has become de rigeuer for people to deny their own victimization. The pop psychologists of the past few decades have perverted the meaning of the word to the point that, to most people, "victim"="loser." Again, the meaning gets lost among the manipulations and judgments and spin doctorology. Here is the real and valid meaning of the word, "victim."
Etymology Re; Wicktionary
from the Latin victima, sacrificial animal
victim (plural victims)
(original sense) A living creature which is slain and offered as human or animal sacrifice, usually in a religious rite; by extension, the transfigurated body and blood of Christ in the Eucharist.
Anyone who is physically harmed by another.
An aggrieved or disadvantaged party in a crime (e.g. swindle.)
A person who suffers any other injury, loss, or damage as a result of a voluntary undertaking.
An unfortunate person who suffers from a disaster or other adverse circumstance.
Narratology. A character who is conquered or manipulated by a villain.
Now, when people say that, "I'm not going to allow myself to be a victim," I think, "Well, isn't that special?" Becoming a victim is not something over which most folks have any control. A woman who is raped is a victim of rape. A person who is mugged is a victim of assault. A mother who is coerced into surrendering her child is a victim of the manipulations of those who want to take her child. An adopted person is a victim of an industry that treats them like a commodity.
What matters is if you SURVIVE your victimization and if you REFUSE TO REMAIN SILENT about your victimization. Every good little beemommie that stays in her insulated closet is still a victim. I was a victim of abandonment by the father of my oldest child. I was a victim of rape by the father of my second child. I was a victim of shoddy medical care when my daughter was born. I was the victim of the adoption industry and society when my children were taken from me. I was a victim of molestation when I was a child. I was a victim of poor parenting by my father. I had no control over any of that, but I, By Goddess, SURVIVED.
I survived to tell everyone that will listen about what happened to me and to my sister mothers and to my children. Those of us who are now senior citizens are even more to be respected for not only surviving, but, many of us, thriving and open and out in the light of truth. I do not think, for a minute, that having been a victim diminished me in any way. I am stronger for have been made to fight my way up from the bottom of the heap. I am kinder to myself for knowing that I didn't deserve what happened to me. Oh, I had sex, you say? Well, what of it??? Not that many people reach their marriage beds intact and that's a fact. I refuse to beat my breast in shame over THAT one.
It is time for us to show the progress we Senior Mothers, we wise women, have made, to the world. We can speak up, speak out loudly, refuse to be relegated to the sidelines and stand firm against the fear-driven aggression of the adoption industry, their customers and those embittered against us by the campaigns of the industry.
Yes, we were victims. The people who died or were injured or left homeless by natural disasters are victims..there is little to no difference. But we are also survivors, learners and listeners. We've learned a lot and heard a lot and seen a lot and, whether this society would like to accept it or not, we are smart enough to know when we've been mightily and detrimentally screwed by a corrupt system and confident enough to know that we ARE the mothers of our children taken for adoption.
Listen for the sound. It will be the voice of former victims and we can be loud.