The one thing that I have made clear on several of my posts is that I am not going to debate the pro-adoptionists in my comments sections. Life is too short and hate mail is just that....something hateful and something to discard.
The latest tempest in a teapot (4 whole posts, 2 from the same person who baited me as a coward), is over an archived post, "From The Ridiculous To The Sublime", no longer even on the front page, addressing that abominable tee-shirt bearing the legend "Adoption is the New Pregnant." Looks like some wannabes and PAPs think we should give them our conceptions and gestations, labors and deliveries as well as our precious children. Nah...don't think so. "Paper Pregnant" isn't pregnant at all...it is just being predatory. There is no comparison to being truly pregnant.
One poster is adamant that women, especially young women, who become pregnant while single and keep their offspring are destined, nay truly FATED to become abusers and trots out the old line that judges all of us by a small minority. I would like to direct this person's attention here and suggest she read the thread about Adopter Abuse In the News. Now, what if all people who adopted were judged by that group? Hmmmmmm?
I know a huge gang of unmarried mothers, some of whom I helped to keep their babies when they were being chased down by voracious PAPs and unethical agencies and good "Christian" help centers. Not a one of them is an abuser or a neglectful Mom, all of them receive moral and other support from family members and friends, they work, they finished or are finishing school and they are exemplary mothers. I notice that our unnamed poster (my real name and location is here but you guys either use "anonymous" or a nickname) seems to think that leaving any child in his/her natural family is an open invitation to abuse. Well, then by your standards and stats, I can say the same fate awaits any child who is adopted if I want to judge you all by what some have done.
I am called "Hateful" because I don't like adoption or the act of adoption. It's funny, but at my YMCA water aerobics class, one of the ladies I like the most is an old-line adopter and we have had many a mutually respectful debate. Of course, she doesn't presume to think she can take away the natural mother's place where pregnancy is concerned. She thought the tee shirts were silly. If it is "hateful" to dislike the industry and the customers of that industry that still subtly coerce young women out of their babies and cause the kind of damage I have seen to both the mothers and their lost-to-adoption children, then "hateful" I am.
I reunited with two such damaged individuals and my heart has been thoroughly broken by the gentle ministrations of their "Forever Families." I shouldn't even put that one in caps since the entire notion is so facetious. However, the children I raised, while I am sure they will tell you I was an over-protective mother and a bit strict, will also tell you that I never raised a hand to either one of them except for a smack on the butt when my youngest tried to run out into the street and scared me half to death.
Now, one more time...this is a blog for me and others to get information about adoption which we use in our fight to keep natural families together. I and my sister moms in this endeavor, do NOT think that every single mom is an abuser or that the child of a single mom is short-changed. My father left us when I was 5, and we had a lovely childhood, my sisters and I, filled with positive attention and love. Actually, things went downhill when he returned 9 years later and my forgiving, very Christian mother took him back.
In truth, I have done you "ladies" or whatever you are, a favor by deleting your nastiness instead of leaving it all up for all to see. Even then, this blog entry is a waste of my time, but you asked for it. If someone questions something here in a civil and decent manner, I'll post an answer. People who post nasty comments get bupkiss and thrown into the trash. Not a matter of lack of nerve...but a matter of a waste of time. It's MY blog and I'll delete what I want to. That's the power of a blog.
I don't name names or pick on individuals, as a rule...I am an equal-opportunity iconoclast. But if you don't like what I have to say, run on back to alt.adoption or your Cafe Mom group and blast away. I have a feeling I won't miss any sleep at all. If you post it here and post it hatefully and with rancor, I'm just going to trash it. That's just the way it works.