Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Definition of Self-Entitled

Crackwhore Beemommie (pictured, and yes, I do knit and nap in my chair and hubby naps in his), especially after a visit with the grandchildren or trying to talk sense to adopters.
I have seen more poor grammar, spelling, reading skills and limited vocabulary in the generations following those of us who were educated with the "Three R's" than I knew in all my years in a SC mill village. Huh...and some people think all southerners are ignorant rednecks.

Someone got a bit mixed up in reading my blog and said I referred to adopters, on several occasions, as "self righteous," which is not exactly right. I refer to the far-right, fundamentalist, "Moral-Majority" types as self-righteous and those who judge unmarried mothers and gay people, etc., as self-righteous, but with adopters, I have used the term, "self-ENTITLED." So kiddies, here is our vocabulary lesson for today.

self-entitled is two words, put together to describe a certain mindset, one that seems to be part and parcel of a lot of those who adopt.

Here are the two words defined:

self –noun
1.a person or thing referred to with respect to complete individuality: one's own self.
2.a person's nature, character, etc.
3.personal interest.
a.the ego; that which knows, remembers, desires, suffers, etc., as contrasted with that known, remembered, etc.
b.the uniting principle, as a soul, underlying all subjective experience

en·ti·tle –verb (used with object), -tled, -tling.
1.to give (a person or thing) a title, right, or claim to something; furnish with grounds for laying claim: His executive position entitled him to certain courtesies rarely accorded others.

So, if you put these two words together with a hyphen, it means " a person whose ego and personal interests have created the illusion that, they believe, gives them a right (entitles them) to what they want. " In the case of the adopter, that desired thing is the child of another.

So, dear, defensive, debating readers of the adopter variety, that is what the term means and it is accurate. Oh, but a self-entitled person can also be self-righteous, judgmental as in quick to judge an entire groups of people, say, single mothers for instance, by their lowest common denominator to justify taking her baby and can also be deluded that our American way of life is superior and better for any child than their own race and culture and that their family is better for a child than their family of origin for the most specious of reason. The ideas are not mutually exclusive. Does that clear things up for you?

I often wonder, if those who adopt think that what they are doing is so right and that no one is hurt by it, then why do they still keep sending me and other adoption issues bloggers hateful posts that attempt to justify their right to be paper parents while saying all in their power to degrade and denounce single mothers? Hmmmmmmm?

You know us crackwhore, open-legged, alkie, abusive, neglectful NATURAL sluts...we get curious. And I want to see the MILLIONS (really????) of abused, neglected children that really do get adopted. Those kids usually stay in foster care until they are booted out at age 18. Adopters want the healthy infants or the cute toddlers, not an older child with pain and baggage that really needs help and security. Oh, that's right...we are going on the assumption here that a single mom will abuse and neglect. Gee...I just read a very unbiased, scientific study that says the opposite. That old Guttmacher study and the Donaldson studies are way out of date and skewed towards the good of the adoption industry.
Just say you adopted because you wanted to, because you felt you had the right to raise a child as your own.....quit trying to tell me bedtime stories about the heroic adopter saving the helpless, healthy infant from sure perdition. I KNOW BETTER.
In adoption, the tail often wags the dog.


Anonymous said...

Crackwhore bmom

Although in the sixties there was no crack...not much pot around neither. I never saw it..did see a few sinners drinking beer in high school.

Oh, Robin, you need to write for
The Adoption Rags
or is it Mags..lol

I remember when I was very upset
one night talking to my son who I had lost to adoption.

I had learned that his adoptress WAS get this a single MOM!!! Soon after receiving her second acquistition...my son!

She stayed married to the 25 plus year older man long enough to pick up her second adoptee. (obviously they had marital problems do you think the age difference could be one of those problems)

Home study said she had successfully proved herself to be a good mother by parenting another adoptee that was three years older than my son.

Success, too bad they didn't see the red flags of age difference and think just maybe that would be a problem.

I was told one time that as long as the ages didn't total what was it a 100 between the two they were accepted and a ok to adopt.

I remember during this discussion I was called self righteous by my son because I didn't think she was successful in the very think they claimed I needed a marriage to keep my child. A two parent home...

And I was self righteous so guess that leaves her "entitled....

only in the bizarre world of adoption...


Cassi said...

One of the best things us "crackwhore bmommys" have going for us is your unrestricted, honest, in your face voice standing up over and over again.
For someone like me who still at times finds myself shaky on my feet, your unwavering strength and refusal to be bullied kicks me back to where I need to be.
Thank you!

Robin said...

Cassi, I appreciate your words. I was shaky on my feet in the beginning. Now I am an old broad who cares, very little, about the judgements of people I don't know and/or don't care for. You'll get there.

Anonymous said...

Good article. Thank you.

Gina Rice said...

Awesome piece, ma'am! I was just looking to see if I could use 'self-entitled' as a word and found your great blog. Keep up the great work and continue to take people like Gale with a grain of salt. +1 fan.