And on we go with more commentary on the unfortunate post written by Heidi Saxton, an adopter and critic of natural mothers, everywhere. Please see the preceding post.
I cannot believe that the pro-adoption faction is still pulling out the old chestnuts about how young, single mothers will (not MIGHT, but WILL) become abusive and/or neglectful mothers and leave their babies with sitters or alone while they go out to party and do questionable things. They still judge millions by the unfortunate behavior of a minority. One question I asked Ms. Saxton on the comments section of another blog was whether or not it would, then, be fair for us to judge all adopters by the actions of those who have also abused and, yes, even murdered the children they "chose." She hasn't answered that one.
She was still delving into the perceived notions, as well, that we were responsible for the loss of our children because we had pre-marital sex. If we can't be pegged as abusers and neglecters, they can always fall back on the "shame factor." It seems easy to charge a stranger with being a whore or a slut, even without knowing them or their circumstances. It seems being an adopter and a converted-to-Catholicism Christian gives people like Ms. Saxton the assumptive right to judge us.
If being single makes one a bad mother, then it would stand to reason that the young mother who loses her husband to death or divorce should immediately be relieved of her children. After all, that two-parent family is a sacred necessity according to these pious prigs. The man who takes off and deserts his family is not held to the same standards as the mother, left behind to do the whole job.
My unmarried niece has two little girls. They are cared for so well that it amazes me. My niece works, is both mother and father to her daughters and manages to have friends and a social life as well. Gee...didn't anybody tell her that she couldn't do that? And...get this....she is NOT a slut. Wow! Will wonders never cease?
Many of us from the EMS (Era of Mass Surrenders) became mothers who kept as soon as possible after the loss of our children to the adoption industry and avid infertiles. I started my kept family at age 19. The two children I raised say I was, and am, a very good mother. I would have been just as good a mother three years earlier with just a little help and support from my family. Of course, I was never informed that there were social services in place that would have helped me. Funny how they left that information out when I was being "counseled."
Heidi Saxton is pulling out all the guns including the one we deserved the least...the shame card. Young love is a powerful thing and we are not always wise, even when we get older, about the heart wanting what the heart wants. To have it intimated to us that we should still, after 4 or more decades, feel some self-blame because we were sexually active (something a LOT of people were doing that didn't get "caught") is very un-Christian, or, at least, it goes against what I was taught was Christian in nature. But whether she and her cohorts think we should be ashamed or not, it ain't gonna happen. That Scarlet Letter is gone and you cannot put it back on us, so stop trying.
I am a MOTHER, a NATURAL Mother and I deserved the right to choose to keep and raise all my children, a choice that was denied me by a prudish and prurient society that was more concerned with sex than with murder, war or poverty. So do the natural mothers of today deserve all the right information to make an informed choice, no matter what that choice might be. Get over it, Heidi.