Thursday, May 06, 2010

There They Go, Again!

Just when I am able to pretend that certain people with certain ideas do not share this planet with me, I am reminded that they are still around, still running their version of "The Flat Earth Society." Their version is, "There was no such thing as the EMS/BSE and no wrongs were committed then and it's not important, anyway," club, with, sadly, mothers from our own generation in the membership lists. They really don't like us SMAAC moms.

I wonder how they get anything done on the things they DO think are important. Some of them are so busy jumping our case with their annoying lectures whenever we dare to mention the crimes against the mothers of the EMS, that they couldn't possibly have enough time to do what they think SHOULD be done. They are too busy trying to be the Natural Mother's Thought Police. Whenever anyone decides that they are the ultimate expert and the go-to person about all things adoption, I put on my high-top waders because it's getting deep in there.

I am an expert about one own experience as a mother who lost to adoption during those "bad old days." I was there to know what was done, how it was done, how many were there with me and how it affected me and those with whom I have communicated in depth. I am neither senile nor stupid. Yes, Mirginia, there WAS an EMS and yes, it needs to be brought to the attention of the nation that allowed it to happen. You don't have to like it, but stay the Hell out of our way while we try to do our job as we see it or expect to be called out and challenged.

The thing is, if the opinion the distaff side holds is that the now is more important than the then, that's okay with me. But could you do me the same courtesy? You work on the now, we'll work on the then, our kids will work on the OBC access issues and maybe we can not trip over each other while doing what we must.

But, if you try to cross me, impede me or sabotage me or SMAAC, there will be no words minced and no retreats. You're not going to persuade us, dissuade us and you sure aren't going to get away with subtle coercion. We've already had our share of the overt variety.

I have a lot going on, right now. I am a SENIOR (what part of that don't they understand?) mother, with a senior husband and a life that I would like to live out with dignity and a taste of justice. Sorry if that concept licks all the red off your candy, but that's the way it is. Meanwhile, my daughter is ill, my husband has a chronic condition, I am slowly recovering from surgery (from which I would have bounced back like a rubber ball 20 years ago) and my dog is receiving cancer treatment as we plan to move 5 states north. Don't expect me to be sugary sweet right now. The pupal case is open and I have morphed into Maxine on wheels.

Time is short. I'd say it would be best not to waste it trying to convince everyone else that you are the only show in town.

Wow, I just realized that I have attained curmudgeon-hood. Yay!!


Lori said...

You go for it, Crumudgeon! I will be rooting for you and all of the senior mothers.

Mandy Lifeboats said...

Some women, like "Mirginia" did not necessarily have the same BSE "experience" as the vast majority of other BSE Mothers. Because their "experience" was, shall we say *unique*..they choose to dismiss the past..or speak as if their "experience" was the norm, when in fact it was not the BSE norm. Yes, some of these women, in the end did lose their babies to adoption..but as far as I know that is the only common denominator they have with other BSE mothers. So rather than appearing "abnormal" for that era, rather they choose to make it appear their experience was the "norm"..and the vast majority of other BSE mothers were not as normal as their's and therefore of not much consequence, let's hurry up, move past it and let's not talk about it anymore. I say to the "Mother Mirginias" of the world...
You have been allowed to run at the mouth for decades, shouting down other mothers, so that no one has the chance to ask YOU the real questions. So please, sit down, shut your Big Yap for awhile and let other mothers have their say, speak their OWN opinions and perspectives on adoption in general and on their OWN experience of pregnancy, surrender and thus losing their very new newborn to adoption, especially those from the BSE/EMS era. Many of these older mothers have not been VOCAL as long as you have and now is their turn to speak. Be polite for once, sit down, and Shut Up!! You may have annointed yourself as the Queen of All Things Adoption..but you truly are not..Honest to The really aren't!
The "Mother Mirginias" in Adopto-Land, need to put down that lying-ass mirror they keep looking into. You simply ain't all that..believe me!

Sandy Young said...

There is NOTHING Crummy about Curmudgeon-hood! I am loving it! You GO! And, may Mirginia choke on her own (self-)importance!

Anonymous said...

Well I am totally clueless about who the dickens Mirginia is but you are a darn cute curmudgeon!

Looking at a recent photo I had to wonder who the old lady was wearing my clothes!?!