It seems that, no matter how many times we say it and in how many ways we say it, the ones who need to hear this just can't seem to pick it up. Here goes, one more time...NO WHERE, IN ANYTHING WE WERE COERCED INTO SIGNING WHEN WE WERE YOUNG, UNMARRIED MOTHERS CAUGHT IN THE EMS/BSE WEB, DID IT SAY ANYTHING WHATSOEVER ABOUT GUARANTEEING OUR 'PRIVACY!'
The whole argument given by the closed-records proponents seems to be built around protection of the natural mother's privacy. That is just so much reeking manure! Guaranteed privacy was for the adopters....not the mothers. We were supposed to go away, keep our loss a secret and, if the wishes of the adopters were granted, die young.
Too many of us took those injunctions to never speak of our experience to heart for too many years. There is a very small minority of mothers from that era who still operate from shame and secrecy. But they do NOT speak for the bulk of us anymore than the, so-called, experts do. In other words, ask US. Don't ask the Evan B. Donaldson Institute or the social workers or adoption attorneys and anyone who has adopted. They are going to cover their asses and lie.
The most ridiculous aspect of this whole thing is the fact that these people are trying to control free association between ADULTS!! My daughter's adoptress tried to make me back off after my daughter found me. I answered her by letting her know that my daughter was 33 years old and it would be her decision as to whether or not to pursue a relationship. And here I thought that the Civil War took care of this ownership of human beings thingy.
The legal machine in this country, the courts and the judiciary have played God so long that I think they actually believe they should have the power to create virgins out of young girls who have given birth and something superior to the blood bond when they "make a family." Puh-leeze, people! You can twist and pull at that bond, but it never breaks. Unfortunately, it does distort and causes unbelievable pain.
SMAAC and other groups like it are not about what happens after adoption. We are concerned with what happened to us from the time we became pregnant until surrender. Some of us are finding out that the period between surrender to the agencies and the actual adoption was a time when we were the only parents recognized. It was a time when, had we been told and received the proper support, we could have taken our children back. The lies we were told are legion. The truth-twisting of today is nothing more than the original liars trying to paste Kevlar to their quivering butt cheeks.
Stop blaming mothers and start opening the records for us all. It's time for the secrets and lies to be laid to rest.
And a word of advice to a few of you adopted people; It really scares a lot of the moms, who are still traumatized by the treatment we received when we lost you, to read the vile and hateful things many of you post about natural mothers. We DO have a right to protect our peace of mind and to protect our personal safety. Get mad at the right people and stop raking your mothers over the coals. Just a suggestion.
I don't know why this is so hard to understand:
The records were sealed at the time of the adoption finalization and not at the time of the surrender. Had the surrender occured and the adoption NOT taken place the records would never been sealed.
Had the surrender occured and the adoption taken place BUT the child was returned into foster care for an adoption dissolution the sealed records would have been re-opened.
Now if that isn't enough to prove mothers were never promised privacy nor were the ones who asked for it, nothing will.
I am beginning to think that common sense and logic are not a part of our lawmakers' agendas, Leslie. BTW, THANKS for the wonderful graphic.
Even if adoptee's acknowledged the records were sealed upon adoption. They still wouldn't want to admit that the adopter's "part" in taking a baby.
Adoptee's have to many issues in regard to loyalties, with their adopter's and I think that is the reason that they aren't listened to by legislatures etc. I have heard one to many adoptee's claim the happy adoptee card while wanting to seach at the same time.
This shows ambivelance, and legislatures, listen to the two sided talk and decide there are just to many happy adoptee's to rock the whole adoption boat. Even the ones there claim, happiness, while wanting to know the truth, and those two factors just don't go together. If one is happy with adopter why bother???? Why would anyone want to know? After all their life was perfect.
""Adoptee's have to many issues in regard to loyalties, with their adopter's and I think that is the reason that they aren't listened to by legislatures etc. I have heard one to many adoptee's claim the happy adoptee card while wanting to seach at the same time.""
""This shows ambivelance, and legislatures, listen to the two sided talk and decide there are just to many happy adoptee's to rock the whole adoption boat. Even the ones there claim, happiness, while wanting to know the truth, and those two factors just don't go together. If one is happy with adopter why bother???? Why would anyone want to know? After all their life was perfect.""
I think you may be on to something...I would like to hear from adopted people who have appeared in these bill sessions and what were the reasons they gave for wanting Open Records and how their reasons were met by the legislators listenting to their 'reasons'.
May 13, '09
Hi! Yes, I agree, the people who
control the adoption networks--
corrupt lawyers, crooked social
workers, wilfully blind
politicians, money-hungry doctors,
fire-and-brimstone preachers, etc.-
-now try to oppressively control
the free association between the
adults of mothers who were forced
to terminate their/our parental
rights to our natural-born
children and those now-adult kids
who would want to communicate with
us. It's always about the social
workers, lawyers et al wanting to
maintain paranoid control.
Most often THEY committed so many
crimes and tortious offenses in
stealing our children they're
deathly afraid to let anyone
including adult adoptees see the
false information they (the social
workers, lawyers, etc.) wrote in
our records because they know,
even many years after the fact,
that we often would have grounds
to sue. And judges also
discourage granting access to the
records of adult adoptees never
mind their/our biological
children. Judges are paranoid
that even one case will "open the
flood gates" to huge amounts
of "falsification of records"
cases being filed by natural
mothers and same said fathers.
We all know that lawyers and
social workers like the ones
involved in my and my son's matter
David McConkie of Kirton &
McConkie and Colleen Burnham of
Children's Aid Society of Utah all
lied about us. From the beginning
these corrupt social workers and
lawyers lied, about us, they
initiated and maintained the whole
adoption matter by lying about us
and writing false information
about in the records. Even the
lawyers and social workers know
Now they rant and rave
because they no longer can force
us natural mothers to keep silent
and enable them (the laweyrs and
social workers etc.) to continue
getting away with their adoption
fraudulence. Even these folks
know it's just plain wrong to make
people like natural parents and
adut adoptees beg and plead and
grovel for morsels of information
that should be ours if we at least
want to purchase it. This is so
cruel and ungodly!
But then sustaining the whole
adoption rackets on the backs of
natural mothers worsens our
anguish. Continually inflicting
DEFAMATION on us by calling us
names like whores, tramps, etc.
and also further victimizing us
with DISCRIMINATION by denying us,
and then inflicting FASIFICATION
(corruption) OF RECORDS upon us by
erasing correct information and
adding wrong data in our records,
as well as subjecting us to
SEGREGATION by subordinating us to
"lower" classes of citizens ALL
contributes to adoption social
workers etc. sustaining the whole
adoption system on the backs of
natural mothers. We're the ones
they call whores, not our
childrens' biological fathers,
we're the ones they stigmatize as
tramps, we're the ones who are
discriminated against and further
deprived, and we the natural
mothers are the ones in any given
adoption matter who
are "invisibalized" and so
silenced and therefore segregated
to comprise a "lower" social class
It should NOT be a requirement of
re-union for a natural mother to
participate in any event(s)
relative to her adoption child-
loss. Too many people also deny
us natural mothers if we're not in
reunion. That should NOT be a pre-
requisite to participation.
Post a Comment