Sunday, May 10, 2009

Can't Anyone Hear Us??



It seems that, no matter how many times we say it and in how many ways we say it, the ones who need to hear this just can't seem to pick it up. Here goes, one more time...NO WHERE, IN ANYTHING WE WERE COERCED INTO SIGNING WHEN WE WERE YOUNG, UNMARRIED MOTHERS CAUGHT IN THE EMS/BSE WEB, DID IT SAY ANYTHING WHATSOEVER ABOUT GUARANTEEING OUR 'PRIVACY!'

The whole argument given by the closed-records proponents seems to be built around protection of the natural mother's privacy. That is just so much reeking manure! Guaranteed privacy was for the adopters....not the mothers. We were supposed to go away, keep our loss a secret and, if the wishes of the adopters were granted, die young.

Too many of us took those injunctions to never speak of our experience to heart for too many years. There is a very small minority of mothers from that era who still operate from shame and secrecy. But they do NOT speak for the bulk of us anymore than the, so-called, experts do. In other words, ask US. Don't ask the Evan B. Donaldson Institute or the social workers or adoption attorneys and anyone who has adopted. They are going to cover their asses and lie.

The most ridiculous aspect of this whole thing is the fact that these people are trying to control free association between ADULTS!! My daughter's adoptress tried to make me back off after my daughter found me. I answered her by letting her know that my daughter was 33 years old and it would be her decision as to whether or not to pursue a relationship. And here I thought that the Civil War took care of this ownership of human beings thingy.

The legal machine in this country, the courts and the judiciary have played God so long that I think they actually believe they should have the power to create virgins out of young girls who have given birth and something superior to the blood bond when they "make a family." Puh-leeze, people! You can twist and pull at that bond, but it never breaks. Unfortunately, it does distort and causes unbelievable pain.

SMAAC and other groups like it are not about what happens after adoption. We are concerned with what happened to us from the time we became pregnant until surrender. Some of us are finding out that the period between surrender to the agencies and the actual adoption was a time when we were the only parents recognized. It was a time when, had we been told and received the proper support, we could have taken our children back. The lies we were told are legion. The truth-twisting of today is nothing more than the original liars trying to paste Kevlar to their quivering butt cheeks.

Stop blaming mothers and start opening the records for us all. It's time for the secrets and lies to be laid to rest.

And a word of advice to a few of you adopted people; It really scares a lot of the moms, who are still traumatized by the treatment we received when we lost you, to read the vile and hateful things many of you post about natural mothers. We DO have a right to protect our peace of mind and to protect our personal safety. Get mad at the right people and stop raking your mothers over the coals. Just a suggestion.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't know why this is so hard to understand:
The records were sealed at the time of the adoption finalization and not at the time of the surrender. Had the surrender occured and the adoption NOT taken place the records would never been sealed.

Had the surrender occured and the adoption taken place BUT the child was returned into foster care for an adoption dissolution the sealed records would have been re-opened.

Now if that isn't enough to prove mothers were never promised privacy nor were the ones who asked for it, nothing will.

Leslie B

Robin said...

I am beginning to think that common sense and logic are not a part of our lawmakers' agendas, Leslie. BTW, THANKS for the wonderful graphic.

Anonymous said...

Even if adoptee's acknowledged the records were sealed upon adoption. They still wouldn't want to admit that the adopter's "part" in taking a baby.

Adoptee's have to many issues in regard to loyalties, with their adopter's and I think that is the reason that they aren't listened to by legislatures etc. I have heard one to many adoptee's claim the happy adoptee card while wanting to seach at the same time.

This shows ambivelance, and legislatures, listen to the two sided talk and decide there are just to many happy adoptee's to rock the whole adoption boat. Even the ones there claim, happiness, while wanting to know the truth, and those two factors just don't go together. If one is happy with adopter why bother???? Why would anyone want to know? After all their life was perfect.

Chris said...

""Adoptee's have to many issues in regard to loyalties, with their adopter's and I think that is the reason that they aren't listened to by legislatures etc. I have heard one to many adoptee's claim the happy adoptee card while wanting to seach at the same time.""

""This shows ambivelance, and legislatures, listen to the two sided talk and decide there are just to many happy adoptee's to rock the whole adoption boat. Even the ones there claim, happiness, while wanting to know the truth, and those two factors just don't go together. If one is happy with adopter why bother???? Why would anyone want to know? After all their life was perfect.""

I think you may be on to something...I would like to hear from adopted people who have appeared in these bill sessions and what were the reasons they gave for wanting Open Records and how their reasons were met by the legislators listenting to their 'reasons'.

lulusue said...

May 13, '09


Hi! Yes, I agree, the people who

control the adoption networks--

corrupt lawyers, crooked social

workers, wilfully blind

politicians, money-hungry doctors,

fire-and-brimstone preachers, etc.-

-now try to oppressively control

the free association between the

adults of mothers who were forced

to terminate their/our parental

rights to our natural-born

children and those now-adult kids

who would want to communicate with

us. It's always about the social

workers, lawyers et al wanting to

maintain paranoid control.

Most often THEY committed so many

crimes and tortious offenses in

stealing our children they're

deathly afraid to let anyone

including adult adoptees see the

false information they (the social

workers, lawyers, etc.) wrote in

our records because they know,

even many years after the fact,

that we often would have grounds

to sue. And judges also

discourage granting access to the

records of adult adoptees never

mind their/our biological

children. Judges are paranoid

that even one case will "open the

flood gates" to huge amounts

of "falsification of records"

cases being filed by natural

mothers and same said fathers.

We all know that lawyers and

social workers like the ones

involved in my and my son's matter

David McConkie of Kirton &

McConkie and Colleen Burnham of

Children's Aid Society of Utah all

lied about us. From the beginning

these corrupt social workers and

lawyers lied, about us, they

initiated and maintained the whole

adoption matter by lying about us

and writing false information

about in the records. Even the

lawyers and social workers know

this.

Now they rant and rave

because they no longer can force

us natural mothers to keep silent

and enable them (the laweyrs and

social workers etc.) to continue

getting away with their adoption

fraudulence. Even these folks

know it's just plain wrong to make

people like natural parents and

adut adoptees beg and plead and

grovel for morsels of information

that should be ours if we at least

want to purchase it. This is so

cruel and ungodly!

But then sustaining the whole

adoption rackets on the backs of

natural mothers worsens our

anguish. Continually inflicting

DEFAMATION on us by calling us

names like whores, tramps, etc.

and also further victimizing us

with DISCRIMINATION by denying us,

and then inflicting FASIFICATION

(corruption) OF RECORDS upon us by

erasing correct information and

adding wrong data in our records,

as well as subjecting us to

SEGREGATION by subordinating us to

"lower" classes of citizens ALL

contributes to adoption social

workers etc. sustaining the whole

adoption system on the backs of

natural mothers. We're the ones

they call whores, not our

childrens' biological fathers,

we're the ones they stigmatize as

tramps, we're the ones who are

discriminated against and further

deprived, and we the natural

mothers are the ones in any given

adoption matter who

are "invisibalized" and so

silenced and therefore segregated

to comprise a "lower" social class

of citizenry.

It should NOT be a requirement of

re-union for a natural mother to

participate in any event(s)

relative to her adoption child-

loss. Too many people also deny

us natural mothers if we're not in

reunion. That should NOT be a pre-

requisite to participation.

Thank you.
Kathy Caudle
Natural Mother