Sunday, July 17, 2011

Bless Their Hearts

If you have ever lived in any part of the South for any amount of time, then you know that the women of the South have a way of softening the harshest criticisms by adding one little phrase:"Bless his/her heart." It's all part of that manners thing. Yes, I said that southerners are polite. I didn't say they weren't human. Gossip is as prevalent in the South as anywhere else.

I remember being at church one Easter morning when I was about twelve and overhearing what I refer to as the "Biddy Brigade" critiquing the clothes and hats that other women were wearing. One spoke up and said, "You know, I think Malvena is color-blind, bless her heart." Malvena (not her real name but close) was resplendent in day-glow, hot pink. Her cheeks were pink, her lipstick was pink...even her shoes, bag, corsage and eyeshadow were pink. I sang in the choir and all eyes in the loft were constantly drawn to that eye-blinding spot of pink in the congregation. I know she thought the looks she received were admiring and I had to give her an A for having Chutzpah (chooots-pah?) enough to wear what she liked.

These days, people are prone to just put out those zingers without adding the softener at the end. But I have a lot of hearts I want to bless. For instance:

The adoption industry seems to smugly believe that we Mothers are no threat to them, Bless their Hearts.

That PAP bashed me online because she is still insecure about adopting, Bless her Heart.

My child's adopter went into a nasty tailspin when my child found me, Bless her Heart.

Those folks seem to think they are more entitled to our children than we are, Bless their Hearts.

Everyone connected with adoption seems to think that we mothers should take a back seat and suffer. How silly, Bless their Hearts.

Gee! We are still treated like teenage delinquents and our adult children are still treated like infants. These people are seriously deluded, Bless their Hearts.

Michelle Bachmann is bat guano crazy, Bless her Heart. (Sorry...had to throw that one in)

So, you see that any allusion to or critique of delusional, greedy, arrogant and rapacious behavior, such as that which abounds in the world of surrender coercion, the Industry of Adoption, and the rabid market for babies can get the Steel Magnolia treatment by just adding a "Bless his/her/their Heart(s)" with a sympathetic smile, to the end.

Then you look at your friend, grin really big, and wink.


Unknown said...

Wink, wink, good blog, Robin. I would say bless your heart, but you know...

Unknown said...

I'm New Jersey through-and-through, sooo...

The adoption industry who think mothers are no threat -- that'll eventually bite 'em in the a**

The PAP who bashed you -- soon her to-be-adoptling will morph into an angry adoptee and will be coldly saying, 'you're not my mother, b****'

Your child's adopters who went into a tailspin -- duh, what did you think, that he forgot that you weren't his natural mother?

To the entitled folks -- well, may the fleas of a thousand know the rest

Everyone connected with adoption -- Screw you

Robin said...

I accidentally deleted STEPHANIE'S comment. Old ageitis. Here it is:

"Robin, you have an uncanny way of writing here every thing I have ever felt and experienced about adoption, baby brokers and adopters alike.

Bless their poor little greedy, selfish, self-entitled, all about ME, cold, cold hearts..."

Robin said...

And thank you very much, Stephanie.

Anonymous said...

tsk, tsk....wink, wink.....nudge, nudge

in the midwest we "purrrrsss" our lips, roll our eyes, and, shake our heads, saying, "if only they would go to church"


Good one, Robin......Linda in WI

J. Marie Jameson said...

I was born in South Carolina but adopted by a New Jersey couple. I must admit that some things about me are just plain old south. My aps did raise me to be polite but in NJ most kids just don't say ma'am and sir. But I always have. However, I have grown up in New Jersey and must echo Elaine's sentiments. Manners just fly out the window when it comes to adoption. LOL!