Friday, July 30, 2010

And What Is It That We Have Been Saying???

There was an article today in the Bucyrus, Ohio Telegraph which really pleased me and made me fume at the same time. The article was about some relatives who took in two small children when they might have wound up in the foster system. A local official was quoted as saying, "We saved $700,000 this last fiscal year that ended June 30 by placing children in kinship care instead of foster care."

Well, now golly gee! Why didn't someone think of that before now? Hello! They did! We did! It was just that the adoption industry made sure the idea wasn't spread around where families could latch on to the idea. I remember when my father left, my Mother, Grandmother my aunts and uncles got together to make sure that we would stay together and with my mother or other kin while she worked. That was the good, old idea of family. Extended family was a working situation...close contact and a wonderful support system. Too bad they came to that place where what the neighbors thought was more important that family ties.

It makes me wonder why that doesn't come up when a young, single woman becomes pregnant, now? Why the mad dash to adoption? What about her family lending a helping hand or family members taking over custodial care until mom is on her feet? If the mother is incapacitated, wouldn't it be better for the child to be with family? This is a direct quote from an adoptee. "I love my (adopters) very much but I would much rather have been raised in my family of origin."

We've spoken, our children have spoken  and now Bucyrus, Ohio, has spoken. It is time for our families to stop sacrificing their newborn family members who are born to mothers in crisis to the adoption machine. It is past time for grandparents, aunts, uncles and other close family to step up and fight for the right to take their own into their homes and hearts. Kinship guardianship/care (and legal guardianship in lieu of adoption if no relatives are available) are ideas whose time has come.

Let's strengthen our families rather than disrupting them by coveting their children.


Lori said...

I can only say this....Beats me! That is how my daughter ended up adopted. My family, my stepmother and father, did nothing to help and the stepwoman actually helped the social worker!

I totally believe in kinship care...the best part? The kids stay out of the system and the mothers aren't labeled as trash!

Von said...

Couldn't agree more.

Just Me said...

If I had gotten pregnant as a teen, I know my family would not have helped. They told me as soon as I "became a woman" that if I ever got pregnant to not bother coming home. If it had happened once I moved out and was paying my own bills, they still would not have been pleased but they *might* have tried to help with day-care or babysitting. Now that I'm married and have an aversion to birth and children (gee - I wonder why?), they are just doing everything they can to passive/aggressively hint that I should have a baby.

It's too easy for everyone around the birthmom and her baby to say "Give it away". That's where the problem lies. No one wants to help. No one wants to get involved. We're a throw-away society... in every aspect. (I don't mean to infer that any of you ladies threw your babies away; I'm referring that it's so easy for everyone else to say "Get rid of it" or "Give it away". No true sense of family or family connection/responsibility these days.)