Saturday, July 31, 2010

PAPs Say The Silliest Things

This is not new, but seems to have had a resurgence of late. It isn't bad enough that voracious PAPs have made their way into labor and delivery, just waiting for "their" barfmuggle to spit out that womb-fresh product. Now they want to intrude on the one part of the process they can never really claim. Paper pregnant? And on a tee shirt...How special.

Let's see...does that mean that the baby is a paper cut out? Won't that make you a "paper parent?" Is this era of self-entitlement gone to such an extreme that PAPs think they can invade the very body of the mother they are predating and take over the process?

This would be sad if it weren't such an insult. If  you can't be honest about the fact that you are waiting for a tragedy to happen so that you can pretend to be Mommy and Daddy, at least be honest about the fact that the child you covet is NOT the product of anything you did and certainly not of your body.

Adoption and separation of the mother and newborn is a painful and unnatural action. This kind of insensitivity makes it even more heinous. Those who adopt whine about insisting that "sensitive adoption language" be used that, basically, attempts to erase all traces of the mothers and the biological facts from the equation. One of our own has countered with "honest adoption language" and there is no reference to "paper pregnancies" there, at all. Just the facts, Ma'am.

This specious idea for a garment really makes the PAP who wears it look ridiculous. They might as well strap on a false belly and wear maternity clothes and lie down and moan and groan when the natural mother goes into real labor. It would really do all of these paper preggos a lot of good to read Margaret Atwood's, "The Handmaid's Tale." A little humility is in order here and a bit more sensitivity to the pain of the mother wouldn't hurt, either.

So, to the avid, covetous PAPs who circle the pregnant woman like vultures, try to have a little kindness in you and do the following; Don't force pre-birth surrenders. Stay out of the labor and delivery rooms. Don't show up at the hospital but wait for the mother to have a chance to be with her child for a while. Don't try to assume the mantle of a bereaved mother should the real mother change her mind and keep.

And for Pete's sake, stay out of our pregnancies!


Lori said...

AMEN AND BRAVO! Who wants to set fire to those disgusting shirts? I volunteer!

Amanda said...

I agree. Being "paper pregnant" is ignorant, disrespectful, and devoid of reality. The one defense of persisting to use the term "Birth Mother" is the claim that "well, she gave birth, that's special, it's something no one else could give the child but she could. She's irreplaceable."

But they're finding ways to replace her to make her as irrelevant as possible. Now no longer does her pregnancy and birth experience matter, because couples feel that they go through "just as much" with all of the paperwork.

And that's another thing. I'm tired of hearing people complain about all of the paperwork.

It shows complete insensitivity and lack of understanding for the First Mother's loss. If adopting isn't a form of parenting inferrior to biological birth, then why do we have to make adoption-pregnancy-comparison-terms?

Sandy Young said...

Women in this country die in childbirth. It is on the rise in the United States, up 8% in the past 20 years which should be a cause for concern for all women. However, do they want to carry this inane behavior to its logical conclusion and claim that they died froma paper cut? LOL

I remember an old Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman episode where Mary's little sister was having a baby and there was a wealthy woman was faking a pregnancy hoping to adopt her newborn child. Mary Hartman's sister went through childbirth just fine on the kitchhen table, but onthe counter, the wealthy pap died in faux childbirth.

Anonymous said...


Sensitivity will never happen with these "people" because its all about them and their needs, wants.

Just too disgusting for me this morning comparing having a baby to doing paperwork for adopting one.

of course one can't compare not even women that have had babies want to compare because adopting is just like having a baby.

I have never adopted but I do know this is not true. Having ones own baby changes women where they never are the same, I was a mother the moment my baby was born, and nothing will ever change that same with all babies. You can take the baby from the mother but she is still a mother.


Mei Ling said...

"Paper pregnant" has already been around for some time.

Robin said...

Understood, Mei Ling and it still offends. It has also had a resurgence of late.

Attila The Mom said...

Oh golly, that has to be one of the most repulsive things I've ever seen.

Von said...

'Paper pregnant" may have been around a long time but it's still as offensive now as it was then.
You did a full run down there except for the female adopters who take hormones to lactate so they can breastfeed another woman's baby.

Mei Ling said...

"It has also had a resurgence of late."

And here I was, thinking that that trend of thinking had never even faded away to begin with...

Robin said...

It was my perception that, while always around, it was being re-pushed in our direction recently, just so some of us could see it. In any event, it is still offensive and tacky.

KimKim said...


maryanne said...

That is a stupid, nasty tee shirt. Does paper pregnancy result from paper sex, reading too many dirty novels perhaps?

And yes, PAPs should have nothing to do with the pregnancy or delivery. Plenty of time once the child is born if the mother really makes an informed choice to surrender to contact an ethical adoption provider, not before the birth.