Friday, October 01, 2010

The Courage Of One's Convictions

When looking for an image to demonstrate my title, I realized I already had one of the best possible illustrations going. Dian Welfare stood up, in public, using her own name, for justice for the mothers of Australia's BSE and for open records. She didn't sneak in here and there with anonymous comments or criticisms. She laid herself right out there for all to see. I try to emulate her in that area. The name on this blog is mine. The opinions are my own. The picture on the profile is, indeed, me, although I don't remember getting that old. I guess it had to happen at some point.

But, I digress. I hate just about everything the likes of Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh or their ilk have to say, but at least they say it in an overt manner and take the flak for what they say. While I despise their message, I defend their right to deliver it.

But don't you just hate the people who criticize and judge, safely ensconced in their little "Anonymous" cyber-world? Take this message received on my comments late last night: "Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "I Plead 'Not Guilty'": So, basically, you take no responsibility for your actions or for your decisions. It's all everyone else's fault and everyone else's responsibility. Interesting..."

Frankly, Anon, I don't give a tinker's damn what you find interesting or how you choose to twist the message. I know what I did and did not do. I know what I did and did not choose and you weren't there, were you? I find it so amusing when people who are totally unfamiliar with the social mores and demands of that era, who were not in our shoes and have no experience to compare, try to judge us by their own limited understanding. Some body's all mad at mommy and is doing a little generalizing.

I've been through some rough times and I have learned the value of humility, of being able to admit when I have erred or when I have wronged someone. I have also learned the value of standing behind what I know to be true. So, if I am wrong, I apologize. If I know I am not wrong, if I know what I'm talking about, then I kiss no adoptee, adopter or any other ass, especially that of someone without even the courage to identify themselves.

When I was in the sixth grade, I had a teacher, recently widowed and mentally ill, who really shouldn't have ever been allowed in a class room. I lost my writing workbook and I told her that I had lost it. She gave me a cruel, verbal reaming out, which I took because I felt I had been careless, and followed her instructions and went to the principal and asked her to get me another book. She told me that they were out of those particular workbooks, but that she would let me know as soon as they got in. I told my teacher and she let it go for that day. Two days later, I still didn't have the workbook and she shouted at me in class and sent me back down to the Principal's office to, again, request the book. I got the same answer and an apology from the principal and I went back to tell Ms. J. She took me out into the hall, accused me of being a liar and when I denied it, she slapped me so hard my ears rang and harangued me until I told her she was right, I was lying, just to stop her because I was terrified. I swore, when that happened to me, that I would NEVER again take the blame for what I did not do or be called a liar when I wasn't lying.

Ms. J is dead, now...and I doubt many mourned her. She didn't finish out that school year because of complaints from parents. So, Anon, Old Sock, you will also be in the ground as will I, one day. And the words I have published and stand behind will remain because the written word never really goes away. Your cryptic and pointed comment will always look like what it is..the accusations of someone without the ovaries or testicles to own what they say.

Once again...I was forced, coerced and had it demanded of me, a teenager with no support, to surrender. Maybe there are those who did make a "decision" and feel they were right in apologizing. That's fine because I didn't walk in their shoes. AND they didn't walk in mine. I took enough of the shame and blame for years until I realized what had really happened. And no anonymous, mother-hating, pseudo-superior anyone, including other mothers and adopters, is going to tell me I am wrong about what happened to ME.

Now, if a "Ms. J Type" tries to take me out in the hall and slap me for telling the truth, I am going to slap back, harder and make sure that the truth is heard. I am no longer 11 or 16 and helpless. I don't whine, I fight.

I've got enough to worry about with my real life to have any patience with such dogged determination to refuse to believe the truth. And I don't kiss your derriere just because you have erroneous, pre-conceived notions about me or any other mother. I'm finished with you and your ilk and I will continue to delete argumentative, insulting and hostile comments. So, talk to the  hand.


Sandy Young said...

I think that the same coward hit my blog with a similar comment last night. Well said, Robin. Hit and run artists have taken it to a new level with the option of being able to do so anonymously.

Robin said...

For some reason, I was unable to publish this, so I copied and pasted it for Stephanie.

Stephanie Van Loon has left a new comment on your post "The Courage Of One's Convictions":

Anon wrote:

"So, basically, you take no responsibility for your actions or for your decisions. It's all everyone else's fault and everyone else's responsibility. Interesting..."

And Stephanie wrote...

Speaking for myself, I take full responsibilty for my actions; trusting baby brokers and their paying customers. If Mr. or Mrs. Anonymous just happens to be an adopter (which I highly suspect), it is YOU who does not take responsiblity for your actions; the pain and heartache you inflict upon a mother, her child and her family because you are self- entitled, selfish, cold hearted, jerks.

I wonder how many women have recieved apologies from the adopters who spoke ill of her, who lied to her, who wished her dead so they could live in fantasyland with a child that was never theirs in the first place? You get the title of faux ma and pa because you paid money for the title. That is something YOU need to take responsiblity for.

Your happiness was at the expense of someone else's misery. Your happiness was a the expense of a young woman who wound herself in a bad situation, which happened to be temporary. You helped yourself to that situaion and did not flich an eyelash. You can take responsiblity for that one too...

Finally~ how are the mothers of the EMS supposed to take responsiblity for being of an era which did not allow a young single woman to keep and raise her own flesh and blood?

Idiot. Please note the picture at the bottom of the post. I'd like to offer it to you as well.

Posted by Stephanie Van Loon to Motherhood Deleted at 11:41 AM

Von said...

Interesting anonymous comment that.I wonder why the WA Government is apologising to mothers and adoptees this month for the wrongs of adoption during 1940 -1970 then?
My mother was coerced, adoption was expected and you didn't stand up to society's expectations in those days, couldn't, it was made too cruel and too hard.
Glad you've got Dian at the top there, like all female Aussie activists we don't hold back!

Robin said...

Blogger is misbehaving again. Chris sent this comment.

"From Chris..
"So, basically, you take no responsibility for your actions or for your decisions. It's all everyone else's fault and everyone else's responsibility. Interesting..."

Robin, you know what this is really about don't you? SEX!!! No matter with your consent or without your consent....simply because you are female and have all the female parts, makes you (us)totally/wholly responsible, totally/wholly at fault and yes indeedy, still want you (us) to hang our heads in shame with massive amounts of guilt as a big side dish.
For decades so many adopters have so relished, became completely pleasured by watching and listening to so many mothers struggling/writhing in their pain, shame and guilt. I'm sure for some adopters the pleasurable experience of this kind of voyeurism was edging on the orgasmic. Many of them are lying if they say they did not find pleasure in our pain...because O! Yes they did! Whether they spoke openly or not so openly about that 'pleasure'. Well now their voyeurism that brought them so many pleasurable moments edging on the orgasmic, are they have to find 'pleasure' elsewhere to have that edging on orgasmic experience.
Here's a suggestion Anon-person...get yourself a vibrator!!"


Lori said...

Robin, All I can say is that is why I don't like posting anonymous posters crap - if it is positive or in some way logical or supportive - sure - but that particular anon poster sounds like someone I actually know - hmmmmm.....and know very well....