Thursday, October 07, 2010

Somebody Give That Lady An Award

Liza Minelli Chose Helping Children Over Adoption

What a concept! On the "Larry King Live" show, the late Judy Garland's talented daughter stated, "I couldn't have them (children). No (I never wanted to adopt). What happened was that I realised that if God didn't have that in mind for me, and I couldn't have my own, what do I do with these maternal feelings? Maybe there's somebody I can help. Maybe I should concentrate on other areas. And I got involved with brain injured children And that was fascinating."

It's true that Ms. Minelli has led a very interesting and eventful life, with ups and downs in it just as in all lives that are less in the public eye. But she made a very good, very unselfish, decision, in this case, and gave of herself to children rather than helping herself to children. Now THIS is a deserving recipient for an "Angel In Adoption" award. She deserves it, purely for choosing not to adopt.

I've told this story before, but it is worth repeating. I had two aunts who never had children. They accepted that as their lot in life and showered all their nieces and nephews with attention and love. They lived full and happy lives without ever having anyone call them "Mommy." They never cast an avid eye on the infants of others and certainly, never felt more deserving of those children than their own, natural mothers.

There has been an interesting mini-debate on one Facebook page concerning the "sin" of coveting. One person opines that it is silly to condemn anyone for envy and wanting. He states that it is acting on the covetous feelings that makes it wrong. Bob, you won't get any kind of argument from me on that. I look at people, every day, that have something I would like to have, and I guess that is envy. What would make it a serious character defect would be taking what I would like to have, especially if I felt I deserved it more than the person to whom my desired object belonged.

So, with all their justifications and denials, adopters choose to actively covet. This is not an industry that can be like, say, Apple, who can manufacture the desired product. If you see another person with an Ipod and you want one, they make more and you can buy your own. You don't need to steal it from the person you saw using one. You felt covetous, but you chose to go the honest and honorable route and buy one for yourself.

The adoption industry can't turn out newborn, human infants on an assembly line. Children are conceived and born to their genetic parents as a pure act of Nature. The only way the coveting of the adopters can be satisfied is by the Industry finding a way of taking the children from natural parents and "selling" them to the adopters through the act of adoption. Thus has been born Big Adoption, the government and church-sanctioned industry built on coveting. I am sickened by the fact that human babies have become just another consumer product. I am dismayed by the self-entitled covetousness that drives this industry and creates the market. I am righteously indignant that we who were vulnerable lost our infants to this ravenous beast.

I have also cited this salient thought in previous blogs.It's something that was said by a sister mother many years ago when asked if she felt no compassion for the infertile. She admitted that she felt badly for those who couldn't conceive, but she also felt badly for the person with no legs. Does that mean, she asked, that she should give the legless person her legs? A human baby is not an Ipod or a Hummer or a boat or a backyard pool. That infant is a part of the people who conceived her/him, cell, blood and sinew. Separating that newborn from the mother is like an that continues to deliver phantom pain long after the actual loss.

Yeah, yeah...and I know all about the crackwhores and abusers. I also know that stats have been skewed and assumptions made about single mothers' potential for abuse and neglect that are incorrect and over-stated. That's not what I am addressing and I am tired of hearing it. NOTHING entitles anyone to the child of another. It is the CHILD that is entitled, to care and safety, and who should not be there to meet the emotional needs of adults.

Liza Minelli chose not to make a child responsible for her emotional welfare. She chose to take her love for children and put it to use by helping children who needed the help. To me, that one fact makes her life one that has been well-lived.

Covet THAT.


Lori said...

Robin, without a doubt that is beautifully said and very true. Kudos and may more people see and hear the reality of life.

Assembling Self said...

Perfectly said Robin. There are so many children here already in need of help. I live in Dallas county, probably one of the wealthiest counties in the nation. Yet, Dallas county has one of the higest rates of children who are homeless, and living in poverty. We rank low in education and social services programs for children as well. I truly believe that if we took care of our children when they are young, we would not be needing to take care of them as adults in penal institutions and social service programs later in life. It does take a village to raise our children, and those who put aside their selfish needs and desires as Liza has done should be honored. What a wonderful world this could be if there were more people like her.

Lorraine Dusky said...

So nice, thanks for putting this up...Cabaret is one of my favorite movies.

Von said...

Surrogacy has the potential for feeding the industry the product it has an insatiable appetite for.

Robin said...

Too chillingly true, Von.