Friday, October 15, 2010
Frustrating Daily Distractions and Other Injustices
It's good, I guess, that if I have to lose one perfectly good idea, another is there to take its place. But it still frustrates me, and I am further frustrated by the topics I do retain. There just ain't no justice.
I'm talking about the latest story making the rounds about Rod Stewart, aging rock star and, surprise, Natural Daddy. I'm not surprised. I was never a fan and I found his music to be mostly hormone-laden anthems to sex, getting it, keeping it and indulging in it. I admit to liking "Maggie Mae," but it's the music that is good. The lyrics are just every young guy's wet dream of the sexy older woman "keeping" him. Now he's hanging on with old standards and showing his "nicer" side.
Yep, old Rod has finally, at LONG LAST, stepped up to the fatherhood plate and I have to wonder about his motives and the inclinations of his reunited daughter, Sarah Streeter. Susannah Boffey, her natural mother who was definitely not helped out or supported by Stewart when she was finally forced to surrender her daughter, is the designated goat, here while Stewart has become his daughter's hero. This is the father who wanted her mother to get rid of her. I wonder if money has anything to do with her attitude? So Streeter couldn't get along with her Mother (this probably all went down before the adoptress passed away) and she has been summarily dismissed, even though her Mother tried, for two months, to be both mother and father to this child when she was an infant and was defeated in her efforts. Stewart refused to acknowledge Streeter when the reunion began, back in the early 80's. So NOW he is coming around?
WHY IS IT that mothers get the bulk of the dissing and blaming and the fathers get many pats on the back for DOING WHAT THEY SHOULD HAVE DONE IN THE BEGINNING?? This frosts my hide. It doesn't take a hero to say, "Yes, you are my child." All it takes is a real man with backbone and with a modicum of respect for the mother of their child. For some reason, a strutting, self-involved rocker has landed on his feet with this one and Mom is out in the cold.
I just want to let our adult children know that many of these good old daddies who will "acknowledge" you do so because it isn't any skin off their back, anymore. These are the same men who, as boys, probably, ran off and left your mothers to go through the most traumatic experience of their lives. These are the guys who came up with too little, too late, or nothing at all. They abandoned us.
In my mind, the father who steps in at the beginning, such as the father of Grayson Vaughn (read more at firstmothers forum) is the one who deserves the kudos. The Rod Stewarts of this world didn't have to go through the fear, the frustration and the heart-breaking defeat that the Mothers endured. Nope, they didn't and I don't care what anyone says, I will never believe they suffered more than a minor twinge. These goatish ones of whom I speak were too busy trying to make big bucks and get laid as often as possible. Muy Macho, huh? The responsible ones, the REAL men, hung around and married the Mothers.
My frustration is compounded by the fact that there is still the double standard operating today. We're still the ones who are responsible for all the pain of the adopted person and the fathers, who were 50% of the conception, are suddenly Jim Anderson, Ben Cartwright and Ward Cleaver, all rolled into one just for saying "yes, you're my child." F*** that! Right now, my fondest wish is that Sarah and Susannah will find some common ground and be able to have a relationship.
And Stewart owes the Mother of his oldest daughter a HUGE apology. Do you think, Mr. Rock Star, that you, in all your short, preening, banty rooster glory, might be able to manage that?