Wednesday, November 19, 2008

It's Deja Vue All Over Again

Some might wonder why I have written about the Heidi Saxton article and the Nebraska debacle when SMAAC is totally about concentrating on the EMS and what happened to us in "those days."

That's an easy one to answer. Ms. Saxton's article is a painful and vicious reminder of how WE were seen and treated as mothers without marriage licenses in the EMS/BSE. With her whiny post, she again raised the specter of shame and blame and stereotyped the mothers. The very fact that she used quotation marks when talking about "natural mothers," is proof that she wants us all to go back to being good little birthmartyrs and let her go about her business of trying to live the "as if born to" fantasy.

The Nebraska fiasco and all the other safe haven laws across this country are nothing more than an attempt to return to the days of closed, secret adoption when the veil of anonymity hung heavy between us and our children. I don't blame Bastard Nation for their opposition to this egregious practice. Those from the era of secret, closed adoptions are in the fight of their lives for their records. We mothers from that era are having to evoke our HIPAA rights just to get our medical records from back then and as for obtaining surrender papers...well we have to go into superwoman mode to get those. This whole scenario fits the needs of adopters, facilitators and the eugenically-minded government and church agencies to a tee.

Now an adopter on Cafe Mom has expressed fear about the fact that the underbelly of adoption is being placed on display. She fears this so much that she is considering not telling the little girl she adopted that she is, in fact, an adoptee. Shades of the last mid-century! She needs to read the stories of late discovery adoptees and how they resented the lies. I've never quite understood the logic, anyway, of trying to cover up one lie, that of the "as if born to" myth, with another lie of omission. I see grave emotional and psychological difficulties in the future for that adopter and her adoptee if she gives in to the desire to try to erase the obvious truth.

At least all this fuss and bother let me know that we have them running scared. Senior/EMS/BSE mothers are finding their voices and speaking out in increasing numbers. Adoptees are refusing to be treated like possessions with no rights to their own heritages and identities. Justice for us mothers and the right to information for our children seems to scare the granny panties off these adopters.

The NCFA (National Council For Adoption) and other such entities have tried throwing crumbs to us as if we were a flock of noisy pigeons and that hasn't worked. The day of Justice for Natural Mothers is looming...the opening of all records is now a real possibility...and there is nothing they, the agencies, the adopters or the eugenicists can do to stop it.

Maybe this will teach them a valuable lesson. It's not nice to fool with Mother Nature. Heh Heh.


maybe said...

Anyone interested in writing to Joyce Brothers about her suggestion to "steer daughter towards adoption?"

Mark Diebel said...

I need to know what you mean, "the opening of all records is now a real possibility." Really?

Robin said...

Mark, what I mean is that we now have an opportunity to be heard. I realize that there are pro-adoptionists on both sides of the aisle. but I think the minds are more open in the incoming administration than they were in the outgoing. I don't know when it will happen, but, if I didn't believe it was possible, I would not be posting, working, writing to my congresspeople and senators and working for change. That's my take on things. Yours may be different. C'est la vie.

Mark Diebel said...

I certainly hope so. I just had not thought about it.