Friday, June 04, 2010

Room Enough For All

Earth is a big place, compared to the size of each of us. We are actually tiny in respect to the universe, despite our huge egos. The US is a big country. Even with the efforts of developers and certain religious factions that want to increase their numbers, there are still places where there is a lot of elbow room and some modicum of privacy. There is also ample room for all the different issues that have arisen among groups of mothers and adopted people about adoption.

It is obvious that there are different sticking points for each group and priorities are different for each, as well. Some want to attack from the front by trying to stop women of today from surrendering  their babies and addressing the issue of maternity homes. Others want to put their efforts towards open records for adopted people only. Still others want to work for mothers and families who are having their children confiscated by the DSS.

For the mothers of SMAAC, the main focus is the EMS, the act of surrendering, and the beginnings of the crimes against mothers that have morphed into the slick, subtle machinations of the present day industry. We feel that, by starting at the beginning and  bringing as much attention to what we experienced as possible, we can contribute in a way that will make people think. A lot of people see  this as an impossible feat, but doing the impossible is the American way. We SMAAC Moms will not be satisfied until we try.

We have reached an age when we have discovered that if we don't look out after our best interests, no one else will. Or, worse, we'll have others deciding for us what our best interests are. We've been down that road and it didn't work out too well. We mothers of the EMS have more in common with the adopted adult than they know. We have all had decisions made for us, suffered that loss of autonomy and have felt helpless against the tide of being left to the not-so-tender mercies of the industry.  We also had no choice.

We do, now. We can say what we were too intimidated and shamed to say back then. We are not the stunned, hormonal girls with the "deer-in-the-headlights" look in our eyes anymore. What we couldn't comprehend or fight as it was happening to us, is crystal-clear in the light of age and experience. We are in our 60's for the most part and it's now or never.

So we really appreciate those who don't begrudge us our efforts and who will even wish us luck. I don't know how successful we will be. But there is no way I could live out the rest of my days in peace if I didn't take a stab at it. So thanks to those who wish us well and to those who decide not to interfere.

This is what I go to when I feel overwhelmed.

"Invictus" by William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be,
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance,
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance,
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears,
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years,
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

There is enough to keep us all busy. Peace.


Sandy Young said...

WE may fail, but we can give it a go. Its a lead pipe cinch that if we don't try it is guaranteed to fail. We take nothing from anyone.

Robin said...

That's right. We are not out to stop others from anything except what might negatively impact the mothers of the EMS. We are not undermining efforts or slamming people online. Let's chill, everybody.

Chris said...

I simply cannot understand why there are those who cannot see the importance of "live and let live". Even outside the realms of Adoption World...there are people who fight for certain causes...that I may not have a belief in..but so long as their cause does not take away from my simple human rights...I say Go For It and wish them all the luck in the world. If only this could happen in Adoption Land..we all may have made much more progress than we have at present. None of us, can be all things to all people..not even in Adoption Land.
I do say.."Live and Let Live" and I do believe in it as well.