Thursday, June 03, 2010

Internet Nastiness

Have you ever noticed how pretty women can get ugly when they are being snarky about other women? Something evil glint in the eye, down-turned lips and a haughty or superior "I know better than you" expression...that can take a sweet voice and make it sour and a pretty face and make it unpleasant to view. I have witnessed this phenomenon, time after time, most recently on Facebook.

We  have tried and tried to explain why we concentrate on the EMS (Era of Mass Surrender) and why we feel it is important. We do not denigrate the goals of others nor do we criticize them on a public forum. It seems that we SMAAC members are fair game for all, however. I can understand the questions of those that do not really know where we are coming from, but a former member of SMAAC in the mix can stir the pot. Mix in a lack of understanding with a good dose of resentment and you have what could be a train wreck.

What's humorous about this is that it didn't work out that way. The train is still on the track and finally gathering steam. We have had a couple of sister feisty old broads join in the fray and are in the process of streamlining mission statements and clarifying our goals. We are also scouting out new avenues by which we can pursue these goals. It's all good.

We are not who we are to hurt others or to diminish the pain of others. We are who we are because we were part of a unique period in our nation's past...a dark and nasty past. Many of us are grandmothers and a few of us are great-grandmothers. We are woven into the roots of the tree that so many want to chop into kindling. The chopping will be a lot easier when the roots are exposed and drying out. The true, capitalistic social engineering of adoption in the US began with us. We believe that recognition of the underbelly of adoption by the United States citizenry should begin with us.

Most folks our age knew a girl who went to stay with an aunt for a few months. Well, we're back. It took many of us decades to awaken from the sleep of denial. It took many of us a huge struggle to not only regain our autonomy and self-respect but to realize the gross injustice that was done to us. We were treated in ways that young women in the late '70's to the present day would never be treated unless it was an isolated incident. Gone are the days when doctors and nurses would sneer at us as we labored and gave birth. Gone are the days when we were not allowed to attend school, have a job or rent a home. And gone are the days when these injustices happened in such massive numbers.

During the EMS, there were babies galore for the adopters to covet. Now, there is about one "healthy white infant" for every 40 slavering PAPs. Now, there is money to be made, subtle coercing, girls being "buddied" out of their children by mealy-mouthed PAPs, "expenses" paid and "scholarships" offered by maternity home industries. Yes, the aim is the same but the process is very different. I doubt there are many women who were pregnant after the EMS who would have put up with the careless cruelty of the medical profession, the social workers and her community. We had no choice because they COULD do this and no one would advocate for us.

In addition, we have a brainwashed nation with which to contend. I have actually heard young women of college age say that, should they become pregnant, they would want to "let some nice couple realize their dream of parenthood." The picture this nation has of the separation of mother from baby is seriously warped and everyone seems to be drinking the kool aid.

So, we want to go back to the beginnings and poison the roots of that tree. It carries a lot of weight for the here and now whenever a public official acknowledges wrong-doing in the past. We have fewer years of life ahead of us than behind us. We need this and we feel saddened that so many want to deny us what we need. In a few decades, we'll all be gone and there will be no one to speak for us. So we are doing it now. Sorry if it puts any one's knickers in a knot, but we are just taking care of business in the way we feel best.

We can always wish each other luck. What would that hurt?


Anonymous said...

Kudos Robin for your style, wit, and telling it like it is in our adoption crazed society.

My found son's daughter had a friend of her mother's carrying a baby so she could afford to live at the beach. Ahh, lifestyles of the not so reach and famous. Hate that my granddaughter was exposed to that but she seemed to be ok with it after all it was her mom's friend. Young an impressionable that's the way it is and that's the way they want young women.

Lets, not forget the social workers who built their careers on the backs of young girls. Now a few are jumping at chance to show their faces supporting women and adult children who were separated from adoption. What gall, and nerve.


Sandy Young said...

*Sigh* when will they ever quit?
The industry is too large and too well-funded to overturn; it simply morphs into something different. But stopping it at the root, the base, the to me the very most effective way to fight it. good for you for consistently saying it like it is.

Anonymous said...

Here you go....Good Luck!

Robin said...

Thank you, and the same to you.