Sunday, June 27, 2010

Shouting As Fast As I Can

I spent years trying to help the younger mothers coming up behind those of us from the EMS. I posted flyers in schools and campuses offering help for mothers-to-be who wanted to keep their babies. For a while, that was my mission. I felt that, if anyone would be an expert in coercion and loss, it would be my generation. I spent hours posting on forums where a new mom-to-be was considering surrender, trying to get her to think about it and not make such a painful, life-altering decision without giving herself a chance to know her child.

It became a thankless task, to be honest. Most of the younger moms were so convinced that we older ones didn't know what we were talking about that nothing we could say would make a difference. They usually wound up in support groups after it was over and done. It finally became exhausting and was taking away from the focus I wanted to keep firmly on the EMS. That doesn't mean that I won't get my say in if I think it will help a newer mother keep her baby.

After all, the industry got its power and impetus from us, the EMS/BSE mothers, and what is happening today is a direct result of what they were able to get away with in our day. I know that there are some younger moms who are sorry they didn't listen, but, as we know, you can't change history. But, you can learn from it. There was a time when people listened to and respected their elders. They figured they had lived through more and that there might be a related experience that could help them through current condundrums.

That is one of the results I hope will come from re-visiting and outing the excesses and crimes of the EMS. Perhaps, if the industry as it began is given a thorough scrutiny, then the industry as it has become will have to do some big-time fancy dancing with the truth as the tune.

The main issue for me, though, isn't about today's mothers or open records or any of that. It is about us and how what we went through created something abominable. Because we were shut away in secret and told to stay quiet about our ordeals, we now have self-entitled "predadopters," saccharine bee-mommies and a big-bucks, child bartering business. What the industry does now with hype and propaganda, was done to us with overt, punitive and casual cruelty. Why shouldn't we want to cry foul and ask for attention? We were there first.

I care about clean bills for access to open records, especially if they include mothers, but definitely not if they penalize mothers with invasive demands for medical and psycho-social records mandated by the state. I care about the younger mothers, but I also know what I can't do and that is teach those who won't be taught. And, I care a lot more about my peers, those who suffered through the same excrement that I did and who are feeling that righteous indignation that we were treated in this manner. It is our turn.

This is not the official SMAAC site. This is my blog and I decide what I do and don't care about, here. Believe me, it all goes back to the EMS.

1 comment:

Sandy Young said...

Well said, Sister. I am with you 100% on this. My family, friends, and life take a good share of my time, but what time I have left, I will focus on ME and MY peers. If not us, who? Since the Revisionist History is already being written about the EMS, it becomes abundantly clear how it will be presented.