Friday, June 25, 2010
What's A Reproductive Predator?
"Do I actually see, with my own very eyes, a man that's not heard of a
"What's a Jellicle Cat????"
This ran through my mind as I was reading on another forum. A woman who had adopted, asked this question in much the same way as did the characters in the musical "Cats." Affronted and disturbed, she took it quite personally. So, I will be more than happy to describe what I believe is a Reproductive Predator.
The Reproductive Predators are usually a couple with the wife mired deeply in the "give me a child lest I die" mentality. These are the PAPs who will post a page on the Internet, with a picture of themselves and all the material goods they can offer a child. They will troll the adoption support boards and will quickly and privately email any mother-to-be who is asking for support, to offer themselves as the right people for her child, before it is even born. They will violate the rules of a forum to troll for babies.
The Reproductive Predator is the nefarious author of "Dear Birthmommie" letters, expressing a desperate need for a child. I swear, if some of these folks shilled for PBS, they would have all the money they needed for programming. They will tear the heart out of you with their pitiful pleas.
The Reproductive Predators will haunt the so-called "crisis pregnancy centers," hoping to waylay frightened, vulnerable young women and beat out any other potential adopters. Some have even followed pregnant women they thought might be "too young" and not wearing a wedding ring through stores and malls, stalking them like a tiger, cornering them and offering their card with their attorney's number on it. I have a married, young friend who had this happen to her in, of all places, Wal-Mart.
The Reproductive Predators will love-bomb an expectant mother considering surrender, doing all in their power to make her feel sympathy for them and obligation to them. These are the PAPs that will insist on a pre-birth agreement, demand to be at every OB visit, in the labor room and to catch the baby on delivery. They will refer to the human being who is expecting as "OUR birthmother." They will agree to stipulations they have no intention of honoring in order to get the child, then they will set unreasonable boundaries or close off the agreement altogether.
The Reproductive Predators will never admit that the mother of the child they crave was in any way coerced, suffered pain and grief or should have been given the opportunity and support she needed to raise her own child. All they care about is getting a baby and the mother is nothing to them but a vessel, soon to be toast if they have their way. I have seen some of these RP's get very, very vicious when a mother would come to her senses and back out of the surrender. They honestly see themselves as more deserving. They will harass her and will have to be threatened, in some cases, with restraining orders.
Sadly, most Reproductive Predators haunt the Internet, telling all and sundry how happy and well-adjusted their acquired child is and ignoring the confusion and pain of that child. They will point fingers at natural mothers to give the impression that all of them are dope-heads and sluts, in order to make themselves look like heroic rescuers. They will heatedly insist that THEIR B****mother is "happy" about her decision and the poor kid might have convinced herself of that in order to avoid the pain of loss. And, if they are called on their duplicity, they can get very nasty. I'm talking claws and fangs, here.
RP's can be medical professionals that get a cut, an agency worker, your local DSS worker, a friendly attorney or anyone who stands to gain by taking your child.
So, mothers-to-be and mothers of infants and toddlers, I call upon you to arm yourselves with self-respect, proper support and knowledge and beware the dreaded Reproductive Predator!