Saturday, August 23, 2008

Adopteri Non Donum Anum Rodentum

While I am sure that my high-school Latin leaves a lot to be desired and the title I have given this post is not exactly good Latin usage, I hope it conveys a message to "Anonymous" and all the others out there who see the people who adopt as innocent and saintly and ignorant of our plights.

One more time...the adopters?...THEY WERE THERE. You couldn't live in that era and not know exactly what was going on and how we were "handled" by the social workers, our parents, school authorities, employers, clerics and others. It was a fact of everyday life so the argument that "they weren't there," doesn't hold water. So, not only did they know, Adopteri non donum anum rodentum, or, as we say in English, adopters didn't give a rat's ass. All they cared about was getting that baby. They justified it by thinking that any girl/young women who would have sex outside of marriage and have the nerve to get pregnant deserved the horrendous, punitive, heart-breaking treatment she received.

Some of these adopters were nurses and you should have seen how they treated us during labor and delivery. We were ignored, had nasty comments made to us and told that we had "asked for what happened to us." There were also doctors who behaved in that same manner and they, along with ministers, social workers, teachers, school principals, etc, were also among the number of adopters.

Aside from that, the attitude and actions were simply public knowledge. And they saw their neighbor's daughters, even their nieces and cousins, come home from their "visit to an aunt" with haunted eyes and an aura of grief about them or closed down, emotionally, like zombies.

Some of them were the "mental health professionals" that declared us delinquent and sexually "promiscuous." They were also among the ranks of those that adopted. All of them were part of the society that labeled us and demeaned us and felt smugly superior to us.

Even now, when a young mother and her caring family in Ohio cry for her lost daughter, the adopters are hidden and without compassion for the way she was taken in and abused by the agency and their shills. There is no compassion for the mother in adopters. That might mean that they would have to consider returning that baby to the mother and they are a very possessive lot. Most of them will be damned if they are going to give up their make-believe parenthood just because the mother (and the adoptee) will suffer.

So, again, don't ask questions that attempt to justify and make blameless the adopter in the equation. And, if they happen to feel bad about what we say, well, Materi Naturi non donum anum rodentum! Got it?


Robin said...

Oh, and Anonymous? My second child was conceived by a date-rape...a rather violent one caused by the bad rep I had due to the father of my first child shooting his nasty mouth off about me in an effort to avoid getting pegged with paternity. The fella that did it to me figured I didn't have a right to say know and I lost the wrestling match with bruises and blood to show for it. My mother and I were told, by the law, that since I had been pregnant with my first, I would be laughed out of the courtroom if I tried to bring charges. My parents would not let me keep my son, even though I wanted him. Don't judge what you know nothing about.

Robin said...

Oh, and my reunited daughter would jack-smack you if she could find you. She is seething because you used the term "sluts" for us. You are the one with the anger management problem. You didn't want to just wanted to stir some guano. Go read other blogs.

Anonymous said...

Good Grief.. Robin... You mean to tell me some silly ole adoptor had the nerve to call us 'sluts'??!! My O! My, how that ignorant person must truly get over herself. I mean, Jesus! for someone in this day and age, to have to scrounge into the bottom of her barrel, to toss that one really quite desperate and hugely angry! What this person doesn't realize least for me...the word Slut is really ineffectual and really just goes to show the ignorant, stupid lengths some people will go to, when they can't bear to hear the truth from a Senior Surrendering Mother. Whoever the person is that wrote such childish clap-trap to just that, a child throwing a tantrum, because she can't have it her way anymore! You Go Robin! You are speaking many truths...and to hell with the people who would rather hold onto the lies that have helped them to support their justifications. Too Bad, So Sad for 'THEM'!!

Robin said...

Chris, this person claims to be 26 years old and "just wanted to know" how adopters could know what was happening to us when "they weren't there." I answered the question, said person accused me of being nasty to him or her and stated I needed anger management sessions....LOL. Funny but I think "Anonymous" was the one who was pissed. I think it is either an angry adoptee or a PAP. Yeah, the fact that I had two children taken was alluded to along with the word "slut" being used. I rejected the know...pollution control. LOL

My daughter still wants to track whoever it is down and do some hair-pulling and jaw-smacking. LOL I've never seen her this angry about anything said against me except when she jumped her adopters right after we reunited. They kept their comments very subtle after that and refused to talk about me with her.