Friday, March 05, 2010

The Boogeyman Cometh

Ah, the fears of childhood, that something was lurking in our closet or under our bed, ready to snatch us and eat us alive. I spent many a night as a little girl, scared of the dark and being alone, quivering under the covers, my imagination running wild and down dark corridors.

Of course I grew up and learned that those monsters, those awful boogeymen, were not real......I thought. But in recent days, real boogeymen have appeared who have a taste for natural mothers. If you don't believe me, go read Musing Mother's latest post. She cites legal chapter and verse and it is a horror story for those of us who surrendered children during the EMS/BSE.

California has already gone one better on the medical forms. Now, all surrendering mothers have to provide an intricate, family medical history AND DNA. G-Men and Big Brother and The Company, Oh My!

What get me is the fact that, in order to legitimize their quest for open records without threatening their adopters and to gain the sympathy of sponsors, the adopted adults have used the medical records issue as a tool to pry open the door for legislation. Adopters fear the possibility of reunion so reunion was not on the table as an issue. Instead, it was medical records that were being pursued. It has worked only too well. And it is working to place us, their mothers, in the hotseat, once again. We are being pushed down the road to liability, even though the map says "here be monsters." All they want is their OBC's. But you give this to a sponsor or have an attorney involved and the next thing you know, there is a list of conditions and requirements and loopholes. One of those loopholes makes a nice, mother-sized noose.

This is why I have a problem with mothers who blindly support every open records bill without realizing that these legislations can potentially cause us a world of misery. It's not bad enough that we were screwed out of our babies as young girls. Supporting these contaminated bill is the same as bending over and providing the Vaseline. How much pain and suffering are we required to go through to satisfy the misguided guilt of a few?

I will NOT let this happen without a fight. I will blog about it, ad nauseum, until my fingers drop off. Once again, we are disrespected and made the ultimate perpetrator of a non-crime. I am sick to death of the "you spread your legs" school of thought. No, we weren't the only ones who "spread our legs" by any means, But we are the ones who got caught.

Once again, let me remind anyone involved in the creation and sponsorship of these bills that you are playing fast and loose with our constitutional rights. I can guarantee you that there are some of us that won't let that slip by without a fight. There may be snow on our roofs, but there is still steel in our spines. I don't have my own teeth or my own knees anymore, but my mind works as well, if not better, than it ever did.

Coerced surrender was bad enough. Mandatory medical forms are totally anti-mother!


Lori said...

I would like to see those adopters and anyone else who has a baby be required to fill out those forms. That would put an end to that crap asap!

I have given up trying to remain civil about some things. I have given up trying to just be nice.

I am sick of angry adoptees. I am sick of mothers that are so desparate to be part of their children's lives that they give up their own identity and dignity.

When will people learn - never.

Unknown said...

The thing that remains so diabolical to me is that they are so cleverly making this, yet again, a "Mother's Choice" to abandon her own HIPAA, 14th and 4th Amendment rights. Then, later when we come back and say, "Hey! I am being SUED!" they can come back with, "But, you filled out the form. No one held a gun to your head and made you do it!" All our choice, simply things that a "good mother" does....yeah, RIGHT!!! Where have I heard those slick willy words before?

Robin said...

It angers me that we are still being seen as either disposable or usable objects with no dignity or feelings. It's about time that our children, adopters, the industry and the government wised up. I am fighting mad.

Anonymous said...

Kitta here:

Not only are these new laws a violation of our rights now, but they violate us retroactively.

Remember the "blank slate theory?" The theory that said our children were blank slates and that our genes had no effect on them?? We were told that our medical conditions not only didn't matter, but that *we were blank slates ourselves.*

Everyone was a blank slate back in the post-WW2 era. That was the theory of human development. As recently as the mid=1980s, I read in a science magazine that weight patterns were not known to be genetic. Now, after genes have been studied weight patterns have been seen to have a genetic component.

Without genetic knowledge, scientists named and blamed all kinds of environmental influences..... and, in truth, environment still *has* its influences.(hey there, adoptive parents)

But, we cannot be held responsbile for what medical science did not know when they did not know it.

And we *should not be held responsible for providing medical information that makes us liable in a unique discriminatory way that violates our 4th and 14th Amendment rights*

And I for one..will not be giving any medical history to the state gov't or the agency or any person under pain of law.

Mandy Lifeboats said...

""Then, later when we come back and say, "Hey! I am being SUED!" they can come back with, "But, you filled out the form. No one held a gun to your head and made you do it!" All our choice, simply things that a "good mother" does....yeah, RIGHT!!! Where have I heard those slick willy words before?""

Same shit, different day. Same dance, same tune..they just changed up the lyrics a little bit.
Like the you-know-whos, that consistently tell us..."YOU signed the papers""!! Yep, is what they will once again tell us later on down the line with these medical questionaires. As much as things change, as much as they stay the same.