Thursday, March 04, 2010

Sitting In The Sue-Her Sewer

Well, I have learned that I was both wrong and right about the mandatory medical information requirements on open records bills. No, we will not be forced to submit them and no, we will not be imprisoned for not submitting them or not having all the information. Not bad, huh? I was wrong. Mea culpa.

HOWEVER, it seems that there has been a history of "wrongful adoption" lawsuits, brought by the adopters, in just about all the cases, against the agencies, both private and state, where they complain about a lack of complete information on the child they adopted. They usually seek damages including, but not limited to, medical expenses, legal expenses, psychiatric expenses, loss of companionship of said child, and other punitive damages. The states are covering their arses with each bill that is introduced that has that medical information provision included.

By the use of subrogation, a new term to me, the states and private agencies that are sued by adopters and adopted people and lose can then, because of the medical information requirement, turn around and sue the mothers for information they say they did not receive. When you think of subrogation, think of a faulty automobile. If you are injured in an accident caused by a faulty auto part, your insurance will pay you for your injuries and lost transportation. Then, they can turn around and sue the auto manufacturer for what they lost in paying out your beneifits. Sisters, we mothers are sitting in a cesspool, waiting for the first flush. We can be sued, by virtue of the medical information provision, by our own, adult children. Some adopters might want to skip suing the middle man and go straight to the source. Oh, Happy, happy, joy, joy.

 I decry the current "dirty" bills and passed legislations that demand more than is reasonable from us and the people who sponsor and write them. I cannot believe that agencies and state facilitators have nothing to do with the way these things are worded. If our children all hate us that much, then why even try? We might as well retreat into the closet, or change our names and move to RatsAss, Mongolia. The mothers who are of the "all and everything for the adoptees" ilk can take their guilt and shove it. You are betraying and possibly destroying other mothers when you don't question and object to dirty legislation that puts your sisters in the line of fire.

Mothers have rights and we SMAAC Moms are tired of being treated as a repository for everyone's angst and disappointments. We are not a bottomless source of scapegoats for the industry any more than we are brood mares for adopters. We are factioned, fractured and one hand knows not what the other one does. I am Gee Dee tired of having to argue that we are as worthy of equal treatment under the law as any other citizen including our adult, surrendered children. This is just one more reason why we need to be able to get each other's backs.

Now, we don't assume or pretend to speak for all mothers, but we will not walk in lockstep with the ones in denial and the ones who live mired in guilt. Self-respect is a good and positive thing...something we deserve to pursue along with other aspects of happiness. It isn't just a matter of our civil or human rights anymore. It is a matter of our CONSTITUTIONAL rights being dragged through the septic tank. I haven't seen anything in the US Constitution that denies equal rights due to sex and/or pregnancy outside of marriage. If there were such a provision, there would be millions of people in a world of hurt.

No, it is assumed entitlement, assumed moral superiority and the almighty, capitalistic bottom line that makes us such handy targets. Look well. There is no apple on my head waiting for the arrow of litigation. This crackwhore, slutty barfmuggle has HAD IT with this nonsense. I will protest this crap until I am in the cremations chamber. I am not going to spend the last part of my life being pushed back into the "bad girl" slot by the industry  or the government or our children. I am no longer the frightened naif that was isolated and coerced and shamed by those that should have protected me.

I grew up and this Mama don't play that game.


Anonymous said...

"I am no longer the frightened naif that was isolated and coerced and shamed by those that should have protected me.

I grew up and this Mama don't play that game0"

AMEN sista!

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Mandy Lifeboats said...

Plenty of mothers out there, better wake up and smell the 'real' smell of the government coffee that these open records bills are serving. I have already tasted this government coffee and it ain't worth the price they are charging. Folgers-French Roast tastes a whole lot better and a whole lot cheaper, in the long run.

Lori said...

Subrogation - what a lovely legal term. All the law does is make us liable to the same people that screwed us in the first place. The states, the agencies, good thing our parents aren't around. Or they would get a piece too.

I give up, a new way to get screwed without a kiss.

They can sue me 10 ways to Sunday - it wasn't my idea for an adoption in the first place.

Anonymous said...

Kitta here:

wanta hear a scarier law? California has been taking DNA samples from 'birthmoms" and "birthdads' since 1984. These tissue and blood samples are in storage and god only knows what they can and are being used for.

Cali also takes a ten page family history from the natural parents at the time of surrender. It has questions on every relative and every body system and organ. All of the relatives' histories are asked for.

The pending NY bill, S5269, requires a "complete and accurate family medical history as a civil right" at the time of surrender also. This means that if the surrendering parents leave anything out, they can be held liable and negligent by their own children...or their children's spouses should the children die, or their grandchildren, etc.

Needless to say, no one else in the USA has to fulfill this "requirement".

I wonder if adopted people who are supporting this bill realize that they too will fall under the legal requirements of this law, if anyone in their bio-family surrenders a child *after* they are reunited or become known to their natural family?

kdawber said...

Mother F___! This OBC medical info. legislation is getting me wondering if we shouldn't be asking if this isn't like putting the cart before the horse? Why aren't legislators investigating eliminating amended false birth certificates? That would seem to be much more simple. Why can't we all (adopters, adoptees and natural parents) agree on no amended birth certificates and make the agencies go back and fix their own screw ups.

Robin said...

kdawber, I wish that could happen. But I have no faith in adopters being a cooperative part of that issue. Maybe a few might realize that there is no such real thing as "as if born to," but for most, I am willing to bet that ABC is a big part of their fantasy. Not many of them would want to admit to the fact that we were coerced out of our babies. Talking to one adopter at the YMCA, she refuses to see her adopted, adult children as anything but a "gift." I told her that, if they were a gift, they certainly were not freely given.

I guess I am just not very agreeable where adopters are concerned. I don't trust them any more than I trust the NCFA or the EBDI, etc. JMO