This is my first try at a blog. I am not sure what it should say or how it should say it. I am sure that I will learn as I go on.
Suffice it to say, I do have a message and that message is not a popular or welcome one for a large number of my fellow citizens of this country. That message is that adoption and the adoption industry have hurt a large number of people, mothers and their lost children, unnecessarily and without apology or reason. The institution of adoption needs a hard and honest assessment that includes the realities rather than the warm and fuzzy mythologies.
Why did this happen? Why is the idea of motherhood still seen as without value if the mother is single? Why has money entered the picture so prominently? What makes people feel they are entitled to the infants of other women just because they want them or cannot have their own? Why are children and their mothers seen as interchangable entities and what can be done to change that? What can be done for the mothers still in unresolved grief and the adopted people suffering from the Primal Wound?
Is adoption an attempt by the powers-that-be to alter the social structure? Can we be involved in eugenics, just as Hitler and his henchmen were in WWII? Is the entire idea of adoption a result of the patriarchial ideas of what constitutes the right to rear children? You tell me.
I know that, as a teenager who was deserted by her first love, forced by her parents to surrender, raped by a "friend" and forced, again, to surrender, I operated in a fog of pain and ignorance of the ramifications of my loss. Coming out of that fog, 13 years ago in 1993 when I reunited with my two oldest children, seeing all that had happened to me and to my children in the light of reality, was one of the most frightening experiences of my life...and I wouldn't take a million dollars for it.
No longer numb to the grief I had supressed for 33 years, I opened my mind and my heart to the lessons to be learned and, boy, did I ever learn a lot! I'm still learning and I'll be adding more as I go on, but this should be a good start.
Love Your Children And Keep them Close,
Robin, Mother of Four
"Neither society nor the (adopter) who holds the child in Her arms wants to confront the agony of the mother From whose arms that same child was taken." (Margaret McDonald Lawrence)