I received a comment today from "Third Mom" that asked an very pertinent and thought-provoking question. She asked;
Hi, Robin, I hope it's OK for an a-mom to comment. I found your blog awhile ago, and appreciate your point of view. I also have a question that you may be able to talk about at some point - namely what is being done to wake up legislators who support adoption without question. An example would be the CCAI members. Their message is very much pro-child and pro-adoption, but I would bet they are unaware of the unethical practices and lack of support for first parents that drives adoption today.Thanks for hearing my thoughts.
You're Welcome, TM and boy, do I wish I knew the answer to that one! I'm afraid that I am really cynical when it comes to getting our message across to the people who make the laws. In Florida, over the past few years, I have watched the most outrageous pro-adoption legislation just zip through the state legislature with little to no trouble at all. The reason, I fear, is that the various state and national legislatures are usually made up of attorneys. Attorneys make money from adoption. Many of them also have benefitted from adoption by adopting themselves, having been career-oriented and waiting too late to start a family, so there are quite a few adopters in the state and national capitol buildings. They do not see serious adoption reform and giving the single and/or disadvantaged mother a helping hand as politically or personally adventagous.
For all that some entities come across as being "pro-child," I think that they really miss the boat when they start with the social engineering in the name of "what is (supposedly) best" for a child. This kind of thinking has allowed the CPS in the US to go wild, removing children from homes for the most inane of reasons and putting the youngest and cutest into the adoption machine as soon as they can manage it. That brings federal revenues into the state and that keeps their paychecks secure.
The only way I, personally, feel that we can get any of them to listen is to just keep on making as much noise as we can and trying to educate the general public. If the man and woman on the street starts realizing that adoption is a very potentially hurtful proposition and that there are people who suffer for a lifetime, then we have the attention of the voter. If we can get past the warm, fuzzy mythology of adoption as it is presented to the people by the media and by the industry, and expose the reality of the pain involved, then we have a chance. Politicians are going to go in the direction that will get them re-elected. If they suddenly have to face the question of what they can do to help keep families together, then they are going to have to re-think a lot of this pro-adoption legilation that is now on the books.
It's so cliche to say, but it's still true, that the "squeaky wheel gets the grease." Keep talking, keep writing and keep educating everyone you know. More and more moms and adopted people are coming out of the closet, and, praise be, a few very open-minded adopters are starting to grasp the enormity of what adoption has done to its victims. Just keep talking....and talking....and writing....and writing.....don't stop, don't falter and don't get too discouraged (as I am prone to do) if it takes more time than you'd like it to. It's an uphill climb, but we have a worthy goal. As they said in the Civil Right Movement, "Keep your eyes on the prize."