Tit For Tat

Out of the ashes and doldrums of Monday and the anniversary of 9/11 and all my recurring adoption-related discouragement and frustrations, there has come to pass a poetic development in the recent to-do over the "birthmother" saga involving the upsoming Adoption Crossroads conference in NYC, BJ Lifton and various anti-Joe Soll/OUSA members on the CUB forum. It actually lifted my spirits and gave me a much-needed laugh.

Those on the CUB forum, who screamed loudly of "censorship" when Lifton was ASKED, nicely, to please refrain from using the "B" word as it would be more sensitive to the majority of mothers who were attending, are now heaping praise on the head of the moderator of the CUB forum for censoring any emails that they might find "offensive." So I guess it is OK for them to censor but not OK for those with whom they disagree. It doesn't surprise me....the world of the pro-adoption faction is rife with double standards and inequities.

I appreciated the fact that the speakers and presenters at the conference were being asked to be sensitive to the mothers of adoption loss that would be attending. I won't be there, but many much-loved friends will be. Hopefully, this conference will be an opportunity to educate the rest of the adoption community and, maybe even, the general public about the not-so-warm-and-fuzzy truths of the insitution of adoption. I wish all the other people involved all the success in the world. They have a valid message and a right to present it. I'll be cheering them all on from here in hot, humid Florida. Those that disagree don't have to attend.

I guess it all depends on where you are coming from on the issue of censorship. I censor and moderate comments here, on my blog. I'm here to talk about my slant on things and to educate others about adoption, NOT to have to defend myself to some irate pro-adoptionist who picks out one paragraph and calls me "hateful." So, I do the "delete" thing and think no more about it. If that is censorship...well this is my party and I do like that little trash can icon.

The conference in NY is also OUR party and those who organized it and put in the hard work have a right to gently say to someone that a word or a reference would be unacceptable. You follow the customs and mores of another culture when you visit them out of respect. What would it have hurt to use a little respect for the feelings of the people organizing and attending the conference? Where does ego leave off and consideration for others begin? It would seem, in the world of the pro-adoption faction, that respect and consideration for the stance of those that differ with them is a moot point and the high ideal of free speech only applies to the freedom for them to continue to tout the dubious benefits of adoption.

So go ahead and censor...ooops! I mean MODERATE, the posts at the CUB forum. The sound you hear from afar is the noise of a lot of laughter...we foamy-mouthed, rabid anti-adoptionists LOVE irony.


Robin Westbrook
True Mother of Four
http://www.originsusa.org
http://www.keepyourbaby.com/
Reformers who are always compromising, have not yet grasped the idea that truth is the only safe ground to stand upon.
- Elizabeth Cady Stanton