Sunday, April 11, 2010

Baby Done Right

Quick and happy post, today.

Well, my neighbors didn't make it to Monday. While we were walking the dogs, Emma's water broke and her pains started. Late last night, James called to ask if we would doggy-sit PJ, their Yorkie. At 6:46AM, 15 hours after Mom's water broke, James Connor Bruce, Jr., 10 (TEN!) pounds, 2 ounces, 21" long, hale and healthy with his Daddy's bright red hair, was born. Mother and son are doing well and Daddy is worn out. Of course, PJ got more rest. He and Rocky piled up on our feet and slept all night with us.

There is so much joy in this nice family, today. I am waiting for Emma's mom to come by and pick up PJ and I have already ordered flowers and balloons for the newest little Bruce. This baby was a little miracle. Having tried for a pregnancy for 4 years without any aid, they had started the fertility drugs. She never saw another period after her first dose and they were actually expecting more than one until they got the ultra-sound. It was just a heftly singleton. There will be no adoption in this family. Hallelulia!

Welcome, Junior. Live well among your own people and may your hair stay red. 'Tis the mark of the Bruces.


Anonymous said...

congratulations Robin I am so happy for your friends and family. Redheads are the best!! I hate to bring sad news today but I thought you would want to know how Carla Moquin's case is going Carla was allowed to present her case then the judge dismissed it. This had been on "Adoption Stories" where everyone involved repeated how open the adoption was going to be... closed nine days after the ink was dry... fraud all over the place....thus the suit.

Robin said...

Clare, this is why we older moms have been talking our heads off. trying to tell the younger generation to KEEP THEIR BABIES. This is why we get so frustrated when they don't listen to us.

Only in a few states is there any recourse when an open adoption closes on the mother. And even then, it's up to a judge. I feel bad coming across like an "I told you so" kind of person, but this is the reason we say that all open adoption is the same crap, different package. It's industry hype and after trying to do things like help Stephanie Bennett, who was obviously coerced, threatened and scammed, get her little girl back only to run into a legal brick wall, we've learned the sad truth. Once the papers are signed the mother is totally out of luck. The legal system backs the agencies and adopters all the way.

Watching the proceedings and hoping for the best, I still knew that the odds were against Carla. There is no justice for the mother that puts her name on that signature line. The only thing she can do is to NEVER CONSIDER ADOPTION from the get-go and stay away from so-called "crisis pregnancy centers." It's always lose-lose for the mother.

Sooner or later, this game of musical mothers is going to have to stop. Mothers are not interchangable and our children suffer when we fall for the adoption industry's warm, fuzzy tales. The only way to stop is to stop falling for their line. Tell your story. Get out there and let the young women of our nation know that they are being fed a line of bull. That painful scar stays on your heart forever.

To all the young and/or poor and/or single mothers of today; Listen up and listen well. We had no choice. YOU DO! Use it wisely. Do NOT even think about adoption. You'll suffer a lifetime of pain if you do.

I am so sorry Carla ever got pulled in to the adoption mess and I hope she is getting counseling to help her deal with the pain.

Sandy Young said...

I hate to say that this news doesn't surprise me, but it doesn't surprise me. It saddens me, but not surprise. Will young expectant mothers never learn to listen to the women who have gone before them, and not to the ones who earn their living off the fruit of their wombs? It sickens me and is very disheartening....

Nice to hear about the little red fat little red headed babies! They just make your heart happy!

Robin said...

to anon: When we are talking as hard and as loud as we can, why are the younger moms still refusing our counsel until the facts hit them in the form of the locked, legal loss of their babies? Is it that a heartfelt testimony is less attractive than a slick, industry sales pitch? They tell you that, aside from a spell of normal grief, you will feel good about your noble and heroic "decision." We are screaming "BULLSHIT TO THAT" at the top of our lungs, yet you still walk right into the spider's web. Sorry, I remain frustrated.

The fact is that the industry has brainwashed an entire nation. That doesn't mean that everyone in the US has lost their ability to see reason when it is presented to them.

I figure that part of this is the thing that I went through when I was younger, something called "the arrogance of youth." Although we did what our parents told us to do until we left home, we still ignored any advice from older people. We knew it all and I think that a lot of the younger moms think the same way now, like, "I know better...that won't happen to ME like that...things are different now...these old moms don't understand," and off you go into the worst decision of your life when you DID have choices. We DIDN'T.

Here's the list of what you have that we didn't:
1-access to effective birth control
2-access to safe, legal termination
3-social services (WICK, Aid to Families, etc.,) to give you a hand until you can be on your own
4-DNA tests to legally identify the father and get child support
5-tacit social approval of single motherhood without stigma
6-state Medicaid to help with medical expenses
7-easier access to legal counsel that is there for YOU (no "sharing" with adopters)
8-the right to continue in your schooling, job and the right to procure housing.

We had NONE of that. So don't give me the big, bad industry as the only one to blame. I can see it when the young woman is not very bright, but otherwise? It doesn't wash. And, to be honest, this makes an entire generation look shallow and thoughtless.

Tell us how we can say it so that the mothers of today will listen? WE are the experts in what you went through..NOT the industry. And this is why we are concentrating on the crimes of the EMS. We've tried with the younger moms and we've failed.

Robin said...

PS;; I do have my husband's niece and several other young moms from around this area that I spoke to, face to face, who kept their babies. Is that it? Is the written word not as effective as a personal presentation fo the facts?