Friday, April 09, 2010

The Good Of The Many

OK, I'll come clean. While I am not the kind of Trekkie that dresses as a Klingon and hits every convention in the country, I am a sci-fi fan and love Star Trek. I cried when Spock died.

Anyone who know anything about the series or the movies knows this line. "The good of the many outweighed the good of the one." Which brings me to one of my favorite groups of the many..EMS mothers. We are many and we really need to see to our own good.

It goes without saying, with that many women, estimated to top a million, that not all the cases follow the norm. While the majority of women were teens, single and unable to financially carry the load in raising their children, there were the few who didn't fit that mold. There were older, financially autonomous mothers who still felt that they could not raise a child. Some kept their babies for a period, either at home or in foster care before they surrendered. One or two were married and the rationale behind surrender is a bit fuzzy in those cases. But for every one woman who did not fit the general description of the EMS mom, there were 100 who did.

These women who are not a part of our experience along with some of the younger mothers seem to resent our seeking justice for the way we were treated in our vulnerable state. It may help them to try to normalize their experience by dismissing the experience of the majority. To them I would say that you have every right to tell your history as it happened to you. We have that same right.

History is an interesting thing. Those with agendas can try to tweak it, revise it or dismiss it, but what happened, happened and, like it or not, the truth eventually rises to the top of the brew and is recognized for its validity. From an online article, "Revising History, Part 1: The Meaning of Denial" comes this section;

Like any human endeavor, the process of recording historical occurrences is not flawless – it's fallible, subject to interpretation and misinterpretation. However, the purpose of creating histories should be to promote the acknowledgment that facts exist outside our own desires. History, as a discipline, recognizes that past actions not only happened but also have consequences. History is the record of those reverberations rippling through time. Whether on a personal or national level, history asserts: I (we) did this…that happened…and something developed from it. History is the ultimate accountability – the record of human choices.

It is that accountability, that recognition that the EMS happened that we ask for. And we want it known that it had painful and serious consequences that are still adversely affective families into the present day. We mothers who represent the norm among the victims of the EMS are living history lessons. We were there, we are not in denial any longer and we are not sitting in silence and allowing a revision of the truth to go unchallenged.

In all the communities in all the states in the Union, there are women who are going gray, taking pills for their blood pressure, looking into retirement homes and carrying the scars of a real, provable act of historically significant, emotional violence done to them in their hearts. What an unbelievably tragic waste it would be for these women to go to their graves without their truth being heard and addressed.

The more the history revisionists publish their arguments, the more I am moved to counter that with what I know, in my deepest self, is a truth, not an opinion. This event was a part of the dark, slimy underbelly of our hypocritical society during those years. The power wielded against us and our infants was terrible, immense and, shamefully for our society, legal. With that power, the industry and governments reduced us to a statistic of perceived social ills. If they had wanted to see what was wrong with society at that time, all they had to do was look in the mirror.

If there is a life beyond this one, and our fight has not reached victory by the time of my death, I intend to do a lot of haunting. We need to heal our wounded souls and receive the respect and dignity that was taken from  us. We have earned it.

That shouldn't threaten the ones who don't fit the norm. And it certainly isn't too much to ask. We'll see how it goes and one day, this fight will be history, too.


Sandy Young said...

Rock on, Robin! Who gives a hoot if we are not the popular girls any more? Our message deserves as much play as anyone else's, so help me God!

I will join you in a little haunting, if needs be, but hopefully, they will leave us alone to get our work done.


Robin said...

Ah, what the heck, Sandy. I never was very popular with the other girls, back when. It took me years to realize that they were jealous because their boyfriends lusted after moi. Now, I think they must envy my lovely purple undies. heh heh...I let Mandy borrow them..she'd better send them back.

Mandy Lifeboats said...

"""Now, I think they must envy my lovely purple undies. heh heh...I let Mandy borrow them..she'd better send them back."""

I think you are a very nice, clean lady, Robin..but seriously....EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Von said...

That's the sort of fighting talk us grey haired aged adoptees like to hear!!
If there's any haunting needing to be done and I sincerely hope all will be achieved by then,I'll be right along with you if you'll have me.Your time and our time has come!
Heard recently that someone had asked where all the 'happy adoptees' had gone.It seems they've all got real,have learned to speak out having seen the light of what was done to their mothers.I certainly have and ill never keep quiet again.

Robin said...

Von, we are the ones from the last decade or so of the EMB. It's up to us and if it doesn't get done, you'll be darned tootin' there'll be some major haunting.

Robin said...

OOOPs. Make that the "EMS." I am suffering from pre-coffee typing fingers.