Saturday, April 10, 2010

Conversations From An Afternoon Dog Walk

I live in a very "doggy" neighborhood and we often band together and walk our dogs in groups.This afternnoon, we were four walkers with five pooches including, Ta-Da!, the Rockmeister, seen here at Christmas tagging along with his "daddy."

One of my neighbors, a lady just a few years younger than me, mentioned the story of Artem Saveliev (see previous blog post) and I told them what I knew of the story. The conversation turned to adoption, in general and I jumped it with both feet.

These people are all relatively untouched by adoption. The closest they have come is knowing someone who adopted. I started off with my story (a couple of them had heard it before) and the hopes we have for eventual  justice for the mothers of the EMS and even got in a plug for open access to original birth certificates, I was amazed at how little these folks really knew about all of it.

Their understanding of the subject was just the simplified, sanitized and air-brushed version the industry and government supporters have fed the public over the years. Either a young woman is "too young" or her hubby is a beast or she is a druggie or the child is an orphan, etc., etc. So then the facilitators in the white hats ride in on their steeds and whisk the children away to picture-perfect, forever families. Cue rising violin music, sunset and.....cut. Pass the hankies and they live happily ever after.

I think I corrected quite a few mistaken impressions in a 45-minute walk. And they asked some very intelligent questions which leads me to believe the industry and their spin doctors might be underestimating John Q. Public. I noted that all of us owned dogs that were shelter rescues and opined that this was the kind of adoption that got my seal of approval.

One man, whose wife is, as she puts it, "11 months pregnant and holding" (She is due to be induced on Monday)  was very thoughtful as we headed back for our street. It seems that before they became expectant parents, they were considering adoption. He mentioned, as we parted ways, that if this little boy they are greeting on Monday is the only child they ever have, they will feel blessed and not feel compelled to buy him a sister or brother. "It just wouldn't be fair to anyone involved, would it?" he asked.

No James, it wouldn't be fair. Enjoy your son.


Lori said...

Intelligence, long unused by the American public, rears its head. And lo, there is a glimmer of hope-
I think I like this James.

Von said...

Right on!You did a great job there, so much ignorance round and just because people swallow the lines and haven't been given the opportunity to rethink.
What has been amazing me lately is the way people think of giving up their babies for no apparent reason...who ever gave them the impression parenting wasn't hard sometimes or is just too hard to do?

Robin said...

If child-rearing were easy, Nature wouldn't choose the young and the strong to do the job. I was almost 20 when I started raising my two kept children, There is no way I could do now, what I did then. But it is worth the effort, especially in watching the family characteristics coming out in your little ones. Adoption is a pale imitation.

Mandy Lifeboats said...

""Nature wouldn't choose the young and the strong to do the job. I was almost 20 when I started raising my two kept children,""

I lost my firstborn to adoption when I was a healthy 18 yr old. A year and a half later I would marry and would give birth to my
2nd child when I was 20 yrs old, then again when I was 22 and then 24. I was young and healthy and gave birth to healthy babies.
I believe in today's world males and females are waiting far too long to marry and along with that comes the issue of lesser fertility. Nature did intend the human body (both female and male) to procreate while younger, not older. A study recently came out that is saying there is a possible strong connection to aging father's sperm producing more autistic children. The human body, whether male or female, ages both outside and inside. You can't fool Mother Nature! Then when people try to fool Mother Nature...they believe adoption is the solution to their fertility isn't.