Sunday, April 18, 2010

We're Waiting

Note the young woman in the lower left of the painting to the left. She is pointing at and making accusations against an innocent woman. This was painted to represent the scene at one of the Salem witch trials.

Several weeks back, someone accused a dear friend of mine of being a troll and misrepresenting herself on a forum or..was it two? I forget. But I do remember that the accusation was followed by a vehement promise to "out" my friend to everyone and therefore shame her. My friend told her to knock herself out. Well, we're still waiting. I imagine that, unless this person has the talent to produce evidence that is non-existent, we will be waiting a long time.

Meanwhile, this person or persons with malice towards us and agendas of her/their own managed to get both my friend and I tossed from a private support forum for no viable reason at all. We have had several members in good standing in that group, activists all, write us to let us know that they are as dumbfounded as us. I have had some of the newer, younger moms tell me that they appreciated my posts there. As in Olde Salem (pictured), it would seem that some would rather believe the worst than hear the truth and others just want to be safe so they go along with the lies. Tiptoeing through the eggshells is not my style, but it has helped people and I am sorry if others don't see that.

I have also been accused of taking this person's very words and using them on my blog. After reading through, three times, the moderator of the group couldn't find those words. The blog I wrote, was, in fact, in answer to some nasty anonymous comments on this blog. Hey, maybe she was one of them!! Ya think? While you are outing my friend as a troll, how's about producing the words of yours that I supposedly copied. Sorry, kiddo. I am a better writer than that and I don't need to use your words.

I am putting out a public challenge to the accuser of my friend and the malinger of my place on the aforementioned forum, to come forth and speak out with your so-called irrefutable facts. You've had time to trace IPS addresses and question your witnesses (it is getting funny) and we have yet to hear you say, "Here is my proof!" Or, "I looked and could not find the proof. I am sorry for falsely accusing you." I doubt, seriously, if we will ever hear either.

The thing is that we are not suffering and are getting our doings done and all the predictions of an explosive revelation have come down to nothing but booting two harmless women from a support group without even giving them a chance to defend themselves. The fact is that we are past the reunion angst and have more urgent things on our minds. So it really didn't cause a great upheaval in our personal lives. Sort of anticlimactic, eh? It reminds me of the early days of rocket launches where there was the great burst of fire, then a sputter, then the rocket turned over on its side and fell to the ground.

I have all the compassion in the world for people who have suffered serious, life-threatening illnesses. I really do, but I also feel that all adults are responsible for their actions and having survived a scary illness doesn't give anyone the right to treat others unfairly or accuse others unjustly.

I am so reminded of the lyrics from "the Magical Mister Mistoffelees" from the musical, "Cats."

"(her)His manner is vague and aloof,
You would think there was nobody shyer,
But (her) his voice has been heard on the roof,
When (s) he was curled up by the fire.
And (s)he's sometimes been heard by the fire,
When (s) he was about on the roof,
At least we all heard that somebody purred,
Which is uncontestable proof .....of (her)his singular magical powers

Boy, Friend of sure are tricky. LOL Meeyow!


Sandy Young said...

Your saucer of cream is in the corner, my feline friend. Meow.....!!!!!

Von said...

Hi there, there's never any excuse for treating someone badly, much more compassion is needed in this harsh world of adoption.As if we haven't all suffered enough.Adults are supposedly responsible for their actions, let them be caring and not damage others.
If you tell me the hand of god was at work here in this 'outing' it will all be clear.

Robin said...

Von, there is so much that is done to people by other people that I am sure has nothing of a Divinity involved that this will probably never be clear to anyone.

Anonymous said...

IMHO everything u r saying is more than true, but everyone has their own perceptions and communications skills, everything is always so complicated; sigh; and especially when there is this thing called "cliques" even in the adoption support community....lets all just whisper a prayer for each matter who or what our title is