Duck!! Incoming "Bitter" Bombs!

It never ceases to amaze me how easily others judge our entire lives based on the time we spend on the Internet. Someone found an obscure theory by a German psychiatrist and cleverly (not) sent me the link in my comments section. Once again, we have to dodge the "Bitter Bomb." It reminds me of those bomb drills in school...duck and cover. Here is the link to this theory called "Post Traumatic Embitterment Syndrome."

Now, according to this esteemed shrink or group thereof, this syndrome makes the sufferer barely able to function. Let me educate someone, here, whoever you are. (Doncha just love people who post anonymously?)

(1) Angry does NOT equal bitter. Anger is just an emotion and, as such, can be dealt with and channeled into effective action. Debate is healthy and disagreement is allowable in the general, shared arena (not here).
(2) There is such a thing as righteous (right·eous/ˈrīCHəs/Adjective1. (of a person or conduct) Morally right or justifiable; virtuous. 2. Perfectly wonderful; fine and genuine.) anger or indignation. That's not "bitter."
(3) I doubt that a psychologically impaired victim of such a "syndrome" would be able to maintain a marriage, a job, raise children, write, paint, have friendships and all the other things that I and my sister Mothers have managed to do, quite well for many years.
(4) We are more than just our cause or one-dimensional people. We have lives. To judge any of us with such an obscure theory by what you read on the Internet is shortsighted and malicious on your part. Or, are YOU living on the "Net?
(5) Usually most people dislike and criticize in others the things that they like least about themselves. I just thought I would throw that in there.

A lot of adopted people responded to that last post so I wonder who you are calling "bitter?" I also know that these ladies are very functional in their daily lives...well, one or two are cheerfully silly but that is a plus.
Psychiatrists are already alerted to the number of adopted people, especially when they enter their teens, that suffer from very REAL identity problems and confusion.

Although many mothers have recognized, in themselves, the symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, the mental health community has failed to recognize this effect on Mothers whose children were appropriated for adoption. We have, more or less, with a little professional help, here and there, diagnosed and treated ourselves. Well, gee golly gumps! Now how on earth would a person "barely able to function" accomplish THAT? Maybe we could and we did because we have been through the fire and gained a pair of blue-steel ovaries?

Some of us coped the best way we could until we learned more about the whats and whys of our pain. Some still experience disassociation, occasionally but still function. Some have broken free of agoraphobia, eating disorders, addictions and a lot of other things that would have destroyed us. Most of us have made it and have good lives...not perfect, but as good as any of the rest of the world out there and better than some. Those few who haven't...well some are gone, now. Losing a living, breathing child is not an easy thing to live through.

As far as the adoptee is concerned, I can't speak to their concerns. I am not one, although I do understand feelings of abandonment. But I look at the adopted people who have posted replies to the preceding blog and I see very successful, functioning people. I see people who don't deny their pain and frustration but who examine it and try to deal with and overcome it. That sure seems healthy to me.

No matter which, Mother or Adoptee, we have a right to our anger. We have a right to refuse to keep silent about injustices that violated our human rights and the civil rights of our children and the people behind those injustices. And if it bothers you or anyone else, then keep on lobbing those old Bitter Bombs.

But maybe you need practice because you haven't registered a direct hit, yet.