Sunday, April 13, 2008

Evil-More than a Concept

To do evil a human being must first of all believe that what he's doing is
good... Ideology - that is what gives devildoing its long-sought justification
and gives the evildoer the necessary steadfastness and determination. That is
the social theory which helps to make his acts seem good instead of bad in his
own and others' eyes, so that he won't hear reproaches and curses but will
receive praise and honors.

-Alexandr Solzhenitsyn

We could post for hours on the many evils done in the name of the greater good, or in the name of God or the name of Christ, but this kind of evil that Solzhenitsyn describes is carried on in all levels of our society and invades our most sacred institution...the family. Adoption was first seen, by self-proclaimed "experts" as a solution to a two-fold problem; the "sin/crime/social problem" of unwed pregnancies and the longing of the infertile for a baby. It was was done to "protect" the reputation of the mother-to-be and to provide married, financially solvent (read "superior") couples with a child they could "call their own." This was a misguided concept, but, especially in the BSE when married couples were portrayed as sleeping in twin beds, one that caught on.

What they didn't take into account what the fact that evil, in the guise of "morality" already existed in the equation. Declaring a child born to a single mother to be "illegitimate" and the mother to be psychologically disturbed/sinful for having sex prior to marriage was, in and of itself, an evil of arrogance, judgmentalism, patriarchal, misogynistic and dichotomous thinking.

The best description of evil I have ever heard was on a Canadian board, posted by a mom who referred to things said during the Nuremberg trials. "Evil is the total lack of empathy." Those with true caring hearts, empathy, sympathy, compassion, would definitely look at what the cost is to the mother and her child of separating them, legally dissolving their most primal relationship and attempting to force a child into a family mold that they just don't fit. In the industry which seeks to profit from a tragedy and in the self-entitled adopter who tries to fool themselves into thinking they are doing no harm, we see true evil.

I think of the story of Solomon in the Bible, which is one of my favorite pieces of scripture to refute the fundies who proclaim that God advocates adoption. Solomon recognized the good in the true mother and the evil in the woman who coveted the living child. That's why he made his decision to return the babe to his mother. Somewhere, among the "good people" of our society, evil has made a niche for itself in adoption. Solomon's lesson has gone by the wayside.

Now, before the indignant adopters and good adoptees get on their high horses, let me say that I am not talking about the children that must be removed from parents who are abusive or neglectful. These children need care...not adopting. They need to be with someone who cares more for them than whether or not they are called "mom and dad." Rather, I am talking about the millions of women who did nothing more wrong that dare to be fertile without a wedding band on their finger or a man's name attached to theirs. I am talking about subtle coercion, designed to make a mother-to-be feel unfit, see her baby as a "burden" and her surrender of her own flesh and blood as "heroic." They are the victims of true evil.

I am talking about billboards that offer adoption as an "alternative" to abortion without ever mentioning the alternative of keeping and raising one's offspring. I am talking about huge, powerful adoption-industry/adoption-attorney lobbies that keep fueling their pet legislators to introduce bills to keep the laws as restrictive as possible for the natural mother in the event that she comes out of the dream and into her own good senses and wants her child (Florida is among the worst in this area). I am talking about wannabe adopters that troll the Internet and even follow pregnant, young women around in public places, desperate to get a healthy infant so that they can play "let's pretend." I am talking about counseling for grief-stricken mothers that consists of some social worker telling her to "move on" and "get over it." This is true EVIL.

And isn't there something a little bit narcissistic and non-empathic about a person thinking that, just because they can't have a child of their own, they DESERVE one? Isn't self-entitlement a form of evil?

And let me close with a quote from a friend who said this in a sermon at a little Methodist Church in South Carolina. "I have seen more of the Devil's work done in the name of God than I care to think about." Word, Brother.


Anonymous said...

Nail on head again, Robin!!

Just Fabulous...

Kathymom said...

Right on, Robin!!! I love your blog. Keep up the good work.

Unknown said...

You are, once again, spot on, Robin. I am reading People of the Lie again and I see so many correlations with people/ideas/and concepts concerning adoption in it! Keep on Keepin' On, Robin.

Anonymous said...

Another grand slam, Robin!

Samantha Franklin said...

(((Robin))) ~ It is so refreshing to be validated by what you write here. As a (former) "good adoptee" it is like finding a stream in the desert and helps us acknowledge what we need healed of. Thank you and don't quit.
Hugs, Peach

Anonymous said...


I just posted a lengthy comment and lost it. I hate when that me.

""To do evil a human being must first of all believe that what he's doing is

And even if they have a sign that they aren't doing good, such as mother saying she wants her baby the predators relentlessly pursue her. Thus
all the belief in the world that they are good and are adopting a unwanted baby doesn't matter they just want that baby...its not even about the doing "good" part anymore.

Its about being entitled to another's baby because they can and usually do end up with it.


Anonymous said...

well, like you all have been told a million times before, I sure couldnt have said it better myself, and I am still in shock and disbelief and any and other emotions and thots, repeated, when my own adoptive parents aka "baby thieves.." kept saying, each time they STOLE a baby from a capable, loving, dedicated, nurturing new mother:

"God has guided us to a baby that NEEDS TO BE ADOPTED..."

obviously, a line deliberately ingrained in their minds and hearts, subconsciously and unconsciously, from guilt from their own christian beliefs knowing all the while that "THOU SHALT NOT STEAL..." is

a reality that they dont have to deal with in their consciences, no, they are off scott free on that now, all because, the church, society, and the community, friends , and relatives have conspired and orchestrated into giving them the luxury to always believe that "these mothers they take babies from, NEED TO BE ADOPTED!!!!!, these adoptive parents aka "baby thieves" keep saying this over and over, year after year.....

sure sounds to be like they have unbelievable guilt, insecurity, motive, confidence and inadequancy issues including entitlement issues, (last but not least) who exactly are the people that are telling these baby thieves that these loving new mothers NEED to have their BABIES TAKEN FROM THEM?????

sorry, its been 17 years, and I dont have the answers, and the cowards dont seem to want to tell me to my face....

Anonymous said...

I agree with Steven Weinberg, Austin's hometown Nobelist in Physics:
"Good people will always do good things, and evil people will always do evil things. But for good people to do evil things, it takes religion."

I agree with you, too, as usual, Robin.

Anonymous said...

Isn't this site about Adoption Agencey and not Private Adoptions??

Robin said...

This site is about neither agencies of private adoptions but how to stop either kind. I am not sure what your question is all about, but this is definitely NOT a pro-adoption site. I am, unashamedly, anti-adoption and pro-natural family preservation. I hope this answers your strange question.