Monday, April 21, 2008

Swapping Insults

In discussing the passing of our sister, Dian Wellfare, on another blog, some of the commenters were talking about how, at a certain forum that seems to be insult central, Di could give as good as she got. I was happy to know that because, Lord knows, when you don't like adoption, you tend to catch nasty little bits of Hell from some people who would otherwise be nice and polite. I've received a few of my own and have found that considering the source is a pretty good way to go.

But I don't like it when an important, logical and reasonable argument for a cause and for justice goes unheard for the zingers being exchanged. Everyone seems to think they are Don Rickles. The insults range from clever to cruel, but they all seem to accomplish the same thing. No, they don't particularly hurt the feeling of or reduce the self-esteem of the one being insulted. Most are mature enough to rise above that kind of thing. That juvenile activity just takes valuable time away from what could be a reasonable debate between adults and reduce it to something that is so middle school. It reminds me of the cliques in school with the hot-shots that would strut and preen while putting down the girl with the good grades or the boy who was too poor to afford the designer labels. It's bullying. It's immature and it really doesn't make that much of an impact on someone who has a few, good, working marble rolling around in their cranium.

In the case of the outcome of my high school days, the girl with the good grades was married, young, to the hunk with the big bucks, plus has her career and two children that she had while in college (smart enough not to wait too long). And the boy who was laughed at for wearing K-Mart jeans and bringing his lunch, is now a SC state supreme court judge.

For all the nastiness hurled at Di, she will be remembered long after the memories of the mudslingers have faded into oblivion. Her accomplishments are over and above those of any of her detractors, her voice was strong and her message was pure. Me..hey, I am just happy that I will be remembered by my children, grandchildren and those precious little great-grands and that my hubby thinks I am hot. Funny, but when you have that going for you, all the put-downs and sneers just don't seem to make a very big difference in the all-over picture.

Yeah, I rag on about adoption, I hate it, it is wrong and it had caused a lot of pain for a lot of good people. But my life is happy and having a cause for which to fight has only added to that happiness. Some days, we just have to stop and smell the roses and refuse to step in the shit. You have to look at the ground in order to see both. That reminds me. My Mother-in-law's coral beauty roses are blooming. Time to grab the camera.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...


Dian, was a wonderful,loving, woman. Who fought for her rights and others who were abused by a system who thought they could get away with taking a newborn from a mother at birth.

WRONGGG, all you
old social wreckers better be thinking about all the wrongs you did to mothers and babies.

In Australia the brought about the Inquiry which exposed the abuse. The old wreckers, workers, criminals should have been jailed if they weren't dead.

Dian, has done so much more than the average person in her short life. WE mothers here in United States will keep up the good fight against the adoption industry and its money making profits.

Dian, will be remembered so much longer than the ugly insults that were flung to her by the adopters and adoptee's on that particular newsgroup. Some of those very adoptee's are asking mothers for their input to get original birth certs. I will help those adoptee's when WE mothers get the original birth certs that were ours before our babies were adopted and the records sealed to protect the adopters.