Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Misunderstandings Abound

It seems that you have to outright name names in order to keep people from misinterpreting what you write, these days. Much disturbance in the force, there is, Obi-Wan. Little patience I am having, Darth Anonymous. Yoda, I am not, everyone.

I introduced SMAAC with a post that called for inclusiveness and non-cliquish elitism. It seems some anonymous person thinks that I meant to point out certain people that were involved with BSERI. Actually, this commenter, who would not give her name, needs to make a 180-degree turn to spot the folks about whom I was speaking. I think they are still spitting out our dust.

For the record, I greatly admire Ann Fessler and have her book, but have a few issues with the writings of Nancy Verrier. While she brought the truth about the trauma of separation to light, she still writes from the vantage point of a self-entitled adopter. I consider Rickie Solinger a pioneer in this area of research and her books have a proud place in my home. I also think that the writings of Joe Soll and Karen W. Buterbaugh are very helpful, especially for those who are struggling. There are scores of others, published and non-published, that have my respect and admiration, the courageous Jess DeBalzo among them.

No, anonymous....you are obviously sensitive to the point of paranoia because I have already made myself clear on these issues. Look over your shoulder at where you have been and you will see the people I describe.

I would also think that abolishing adoption would be a natural follow-up to the seeking of justice for the Senior Mother of adoption loss. One step at a time is all we can take.

I do NOT apologize for challenging the idea that the only people worthy of seeking this justice have to be those with "credentials." SMAAC has been formed as a grass-roots movement to compliment the work of those who bring more education, etc., to the fray. All I was trying to point out is that we refuse to be left out of the process, entirely, and decry the idea of being shut out of the "inner circle" and that our passions are our credentials. But, we can live without any of that and still try to do what we set out to do. We have our own "inner circle" but it is a lot more inclusive. Whether you realize it or not, your enemies and ours are the same.

Our focus is solely on the Senior Mothers and their experience of coercion, isolation, shaming, blaming and ultimate loss...acts against us carried out overtly and with impunity. The rest, such as the abolishment of adoption, will follow. I think, since we have the same objectives, that we could manage to "play well with others." Ya think?

Another person had some unkind things to say about the post eulogizing Dian Wellfare. According to this commenter, Di did NOT believe in an official apology as being part of the package and that she was aggrandized at the cost of many other brave, Australian mothers..that is the anonymous commenter's opinion...not mine. That may have an element of truth, but I don't really know. I posted the information I had. You, commenter, are free to form your own blog and contradict that post. You can even use your real name, like I do. I continue to honor Di as a fighter and a pioneer. That was never meant to diminish the efforts of others in Australia. For Pete's sake. She had just passed away!

Now, if that has answered the nay-sayers, us Big, Bad, Old Breeder-Bitches have work to do. Oh, and to one other commenter...I disagree with your idea of what it means to be called a Bitch. Usually, one is called names when they hit too close to home with what they have to say. This is war and war isn't "nicey-nice."

That symbol is our flag and we are forming ranks. Alliances are welcome, but we will proceed with or without anyone else's approval.

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