Saturday, July 26, 2008

Swattin' 'Skeeters

When I was a little girl, and that was a very, very long time ago, I had a favorite Uncle Jack, who was a heavy smoker and would, sadly, die of his habit when I was 11. On one of my visits to South Carolina, I heard the porch swing creak and, every now and then, a loud slapping sound. I went out to see what those sounds were and there was Uncle Jack, sitting in the porch swing, flyswatter in hand, watching the fireflies and enjoying the cool breeze.

I asked him what he was doing and I'll never forget his reply. "Honey, I am enjoying the summer night and swattin' skeeters." I asked him why he didn't come in if the mosquitoes were bothering him and he said, "as long as I swat 'em, they don't bother me. The night sky and the 'lightnin' bugs are too pretty to miss just to avoid a few pesky skeeters." So I sat out on the porch with my Uncle Jack, looking at the stars, chasing fireflies and swattin' 'skeeters.

That's how I feel with this blog, sometimes. It is so nice to be out in the light, not hiding in some safe, anonymous, barfmuggle closet, relating what I have learned over a long lifetime of loss, reunion and education. It seems that there is so much to share and so many new things happening that I can put in these posts for others to read, learn if they will and ignore if they don't.

Lately, I have been hitting that "reject" icon a version of swattin' 'skeeters. They can buzz around with that high-pitched whine all they want, but none of the comments they post are going to change me, those that think like me, or the direction in which we are heading. It is not my responsibility to offer an open forum for debate on the issue. If that were so, the title of this blog would be "Motherhood Maybe Deleted?" I know how many hits I get per week. I don't think that it hurts anyone except the people who wish to discredit me that I don't carry on debates on my blog. Those comments are 'skeeters and I have my swatter close at hand.

If someone asks a civil question about my viewpoints, I'll answer. But I am not going to immerse myself in an ocean of sniping and spitting. I post my opinions, share what I have learned and, hopefully, help other mothers who have had to deal with this dehumanizing, tragic and grief-laden social experiment called adoption. I have received a lot of personal thank-you's from moms and adopted people, so I think I'll just keep on doing it my way.

Some of these protester/'skeeters seem to be doing all they can to justify their act of adoption. I have to wonder that, if they are so sure it is the right thing, then what do they care what I post and why do they have to defend themselves?

You might as well give up because nothing you can say or do is going to change me at this stage in my life. I've seen and experienced too much and seen too many other women like me go through the same thing to put it down to me "just having a bad experience." That one is unmitigated bullshit. If it is just "bad experiences," then there are millions of those that need addressing. My mother would be proud to know that I was labeled "sarcastic." She was the champion of that art.

So post what you will. Uncle Jack taught me, very well, how to swat 'skeeters. REJECT!!
( I have to add a Post Script that some of these argumentative comments constitute some of the highest praise I have ever received for my writing skills. heh heh)


maybe said...

"just having a bad experience"

You know what, having a child missing for years IS a bad experience. Not knowing if your child is alive or dead, or wondering if he thinks you were some messed-up loser who didn't care and didn't deserve to be a mother, that IS a bad experience.

I recently had a friend tell me I was better off without my baby, becasue I was too young, got to go to college, blah, blah, blah. I would have gone to college anyway, so that's invalid on its face. Too young? Most people of my parents generation and before were "too young" by today's standards.

Then I mentioned to her the fact that I have never had another child, and it's too late in the game now. She actually said, "well, you could adopt."

WHAT? Are people really that dense, do they not hear a word we say?!

Keep swattin', I don't know if I have the energy.

Robin said...

maybe, I just swatted a big, juicy one, just for you. ;o)

Anonymous said...

I love those who say thats "your" story and not all stories are the same. NO shit, but they sure seem to end all the same in adoption mother and child separated.

Also those who have said their adoption is different. And of course they want reform after they acquire a baby.

Keep swatting them Robin maybe you can get rid of all those blood sucking adopters. You must be pissing them off keep deleting too.

Seems they don't like mothers our stories because they are the truth.

WE were there and KNOW the truth. THEY on the other hand try their best to hide the truth and WEREN'T there.

Robin said...

Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat! 4, so far. Those pesky critters seem to think I care about what they have to say. LOL